COMMENTARY: A Mother’s Message About Bullying: Hang in There. It Will Get better. 756.5

by Michael Josephson on January 5, 2012

in Caring, Compassion, Commentaries

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While researching the bullying issue for a CHARACTER COUNTS! seminar, I came across Vicky Bell’s blog, where she posted a letter to her daughter in college. I think her advice moving and wise. Here’s an abridged version:

Hello my girl. . . You may have heard about the NJ college student who killed himself because his roommate posted a videotape of him having sex with another guy. My mommy job requires that I remind you: Nothing ruins your life forever. NOTHING.

If that young man had only waited a couple of weeks . . . he’d have gotten past it. People have short memories- life would have gotten better, much better. . . . A few awkward moments and then life goes on.

But when you are young you don’t know that even the awkward moments are fleeting. On this, you just have to trust the old people. . . . Awful things happen, [but] . . . somehow time goes by and it gets better. I promise you, it ALWAYS gets better.

Never, ever think something is unfixable. . . . NOTHING you do could be so awful you can’t get past it.

And if someone is mean to you, and it isn’t something you can ignore– seek out people to talk to about it. Surround yourself with people who are supportive.  . . . Right now- before you might need such help- think about who you would talk to if needed. In the midst of turmoil . . . having a plan makes it easier to find help . . . . Remember, there are always alternatives. Always.

This mom was right. We can’t make the pain go away, but it will go away. Just hang in there!

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Tom Vincent January 6, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Parents should teach their kids to fight back. Maybe a few bullies in the morgue would make other bullies think twice about what harm they do.

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Gabriel V January 8, 2012 at 9:59 am

@ Vincent – putting people in the morgue? Really? Sun Tzu, the greatest of all generals and a philosopher said that “War should be the last option. Defeating your enemy without drawing any blood is true domination.” Teaching our kids to “Fight back”, true, is something we need to teach. But we should be teaching them how to fight with their minds in a civil and non-violent manner. Physical fighting should be an absolutely last resort unless personal safety is in jeopardy.

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LaVerne Teague January 16, 2012 at 8:25 am

Thank you for the above message. It’s timing was perfect for me in that I have a student who recently was listing the ways he could kill himself. I will share this article with him and hope that he realizes that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Thanks again and God bless….

Reply

Diana Terasaki January 16, 2012 at 9:07 am

This message is so critical and I thank you for sending it my way. I am profoundly touched. All of us, all counselors, will continue to stand shoulder to shoulder and make a diffference.

Reply

Michael Josephson January 16, 2012 at 9:23 am

Thank you. Your efforts are needed and will make a difference.

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