It’s a serious question. As kids, we knew we were going to be something and that to be something was to be someone. Even as our ambitions changed, we knew what we were going to be was important and our choice.
When I entered UCLA Law School in 1964, I wanted to do good. Yet when I graduated three years later, I just wanted to do well. My life’s mission had changed, not as the result of conscious choice but as a surrender to the momentum of an elaborate matchmaking ritual: the ultimate competition to get job offers from the most prestigious employers and to attain the most hard-to-get jobs.
Money was definitely a factor, as almost all of us had student loans to pay off, but the larger force was a desire for validation. I was, by inclination and training, highly competitive. Getting a coveted job was the ultimate trophy. Intoxicated with a desire to win, I abandoned my wish of being significant in favor of being successful.
I was lucky. The tax firm I wanted didn’t make me an offer, so I took a teaching position at the University of Michigan Law School. I discovered I loved teaching and stayed with it for nearly 20 years before I founded an ethics institute in honor of my parents.
You may start out intending to be the captain, but if you’re not careful, you may find yourself drifting in another direction, a passenger on your own ship. Your life is too important to be little.
Be what you want to be.
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.
Please return to the Blog Home Page www.whatwillmatter.com and browse to see other current and archived commentaries, quotes and other good stuff.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Michael that was well said. I think many times we lose our character for numerous reason. I like your true story about college, because homework can break you.
We wake up wanting to be the President but due to so much pressure we go to sleep settling for a manager job somewhere.
Character is all that gets us through many situations. Staying on course can be more of a challenge than the actual task. thanks
This is a tricky one – I used to think that determining what I wanted to be was critical but I’m finding more and more that WHO I want to be is more important that WHAT. Who I am is critical to my success in life, regardless of what I am doing. So for now, I’ve decided to focus my energy on developing the core of “who” – honesty, integrity, empathy and compassion. (Don’t get me wrong, I’m still trying to figure out WHAT I want to be when I grow up and hopefully some day I will!)
Well said, I have worked on myself through personal development programs for YEARS.. over 10, I have also looking for ‘my purpose’ that everyone says I need to do. I want to be my best self and live a life of service, however I also require decent pay for that. I have been locked (I dislike the word stuck…but same thing) in a sales position for over 5 yrs. now that I don’t want to be at, I do well (recently won Salesrep of the Qtr) struggle to get myself going daily — can you imagine what I could do if I LOVED what i did ?
I work on keeping a positive attitute, living in the ‘now’ but because i don’t know where to move to or what to do I just get frustrated. I’m over 50 yrs. old now, I want off the road – that uch I know. Between working, Toastmasters, other occassional evening committments hwo can I even start to FIND out what it is I want to do, that will bring me joy and letme live a life of service?
At times I am resentful that I am still in this position and that is a negative atitude… (I did an intensive 3 yr. pers develop program that was by Bob Proctor coaches… courses, hypnosis (limiting beliefs) and wkly coaching. I learned a lot & my husband SOARED & grew… I’m wondering what happened to me, I’m better but no where near where I was expecting.
I WILL be spending time with your website and checking out some of the articles, looks very inspiring. Thanks
I am 73 years old now and I am still trying to figue out what I want to be when I grow up. I have been in the military, ministry, a life long electrician, an artist a custom car builder, and a father/husband to name a few.. yet I have no regrets because the journey to where I am now (retired) has given me an eclectic vision of life, ethics and attitudes that allows me to slip into my next big adventure with (eyes wide open) anticipation and excitement.