Hospitals are super-sanitary institutions housing millions of dollars of technology and scores of trained medical professionals for the purpose of providing medical care for the sick and injured. I just spent some time with my daughter at one of the better hospitals in New York City. She received great treatment, but I wish hospitals were more hospitable. A hospitable place …
COMMENTARY: We Are All Ethical In Our Own Eyes
Think of the most ethical person you know. Do a lot of people come to mind or only a few? Are you having trouble thinking of anyone? If I asked that question of the people who know you well, how many would name you? Almost all? About half? Just a few? Unless this commentary makes you more humble, you will …
The Value of Trust 735.2
A teenager wants to go to a party, but she’s sure her mom won’t let her. So she and her friend concoct a false cover story. What’s the big deal? Most kids lie to their parents from time to time, and their parents probably lied to their parents. Despite rhetoric about virtue being its own reward, a great many adults …
Put the Big Rocks In First 735.1
There’s a well-traveled story about a teacher who showed his class a one-gallon jar and a dozen large rocks. After a little rearranging, he got all the rocks into the jar, filling it to the top. He then dumped a bag of gravel into the jar until the spaces between the rocks were filled. Next he poured sand into the …
Slow Dance 734.5
I once heard the chairman and CEO of a huge public company tell a roomful of ambitious, hardworking, dedicated executives that if he had to do it all over again, he would have spent more time with his family. That’s not news, but to Type-A personalities, it’s easier said than done. David L. Weatherford’s poem “Slow Dance” sends the message …
Management Maxim: Suitability Is As Important As Capability 734.4
A critical maxim of management is “Suitability is as important as capability.” Capability asks, “Can they do the job?” Suitability asks, “Are they right for the job?” If the job isn’t a good fit, it’s not a good job. Yes, an employee has to have (or be able to readily acquire) the skills and knowledge required for excellent job performance, …
Coach Wooden the Philosopher 734.3
According to Henry David Thoreau, a philosopher is a person who seeks to understand and solve the most serious problems of life, not only theoretically, but practically. A true philosopher, Thoreau added, is so committed to wisdom that he seeks to live wisely and so lives a life of simplicity, independence, magnanimity, and trust. By this definition, John Wooden, my …
Authentic Apologies 734.2
“I’m sorry.” These are powerful words. Authentic apologies can work like a healing ointment on old wounds, dissolve bitter grudges, and repair damaged relationships. They encourage both parties to let go of toxic emotions like anger and guilt and provide a fresh foundation of mutual respect. But authentic apologies involve much more than words expressing sorrow; they require accountability, remorse, …
Clichés and Milestones 734.1
One of the things I hate most about clichés is that whenever I experience milestone experiences, I have to admit they are true. There’s nothing unique or original about my feelings except that they are mine. So, as I witnessed my daughter Samara turn 18, my mind and heart flooded with trite and corny thoughts and emotions: “Where did the …
Shopping Carts and Rationalizations 733.5
When we think about character, we tend to envision really big things, like taking heavy risks, committing bold acts of integrity, being grandly generous, or making tough sacrifices. Such noble choices indicate character, but for the most part, our integrity is revealed in much smaller events, like apologizing when we’re wrong, giving to causes we believe in, being honest when …
A Short-Haired Role Model 733.4
A popular way to encourage charitable donations is to invoke people to “give till it hurts.” Mrs. Rosario Rivera, an elementary school teacher in Puerto Rico, takes a very different approach, urging her students to “give until it feels good.” Mrs. Rivera teaches English at the José Ramón Rodriguez Elementary School in the town of Coamo in Puerto Rico. Her …
Every Good Decision Starts with a Stop 733.3
More often than we like, most of us face choices that can have serious and lasting impact on our lives. Do we go along with the crowd? Do we tell someone off, quit a job, or end a relationship? Unfortunately, these decisions are not preceded by a drum roll warning us that the stakes are high. Even worse, we often …
If You Change One Thing, You Change Everything 733.2
Looking back on your life, what would you change if you could? In the classic 1946 film It’s a Wonderful Life, the main character, a small-town bank officer played by Jimmy Stewart, is about to commit suicide when an angel shows him how different the lives of people in Bedford Falls would be if he hadn’t been born. The movie …
Refuse to Be Afraid 733.1
Tim Wrightman, a former All-American UCLA football player, tells a story about how, as a rookie lineman in the National Football League, he was up against the legendary pass rusher Lawrence Taylor. Taylor was not only physically powerful and uncommonly quick but a master at verbal intimidation. Looking young Tim in the eye, he said, “Sonny, get ready. I’m going …
I’m Not Fixing the Dent 732.5
Relentless rehashing of Casey Anthony’s trial and her present whereabouts, the ever-widening scandal involving media mogul Rupert Murdoch and Britain’s top cops, and shameless posturing by feuding politicians unwilling to agree on a budget, all make it so hard to pay attention to more important things, like the human dimension of unemployment, the suffering of soldiers maimed and killed in …
Controlling the Weather 732.4
While teachers can have a lifelong effect on the way students think, psychologist Haim Ginott has focused on a more immediate aspect of impact: the creation of a positive or negative physical and emotional environment that can determine the quality of a child’s life. “I’ve come to a frightening conclusion,” he said. “I am the decisive element in the classroom. …
Better to Lose a Job Than Your Honor 732.3
The story unfolding in England about reporters at Rupert Murdoch’s tabloid hacking into voicemails is disturbing. It appears that the practice was extensive and had been going on for a long time. For the offending reporters and editors, it was just business. Private information is a valuable commodity, and every day more is needed. That’s a lot of pressure, the …
The Greyhound Principle 732.2
Racing dogs are trained to chase a mechanical rabbit that always goes a little faster than the fleetest dog. This causes them to run faster than they otherwise would. Companies that annually set overly ambitious performance objectives for their employees employ this greyhound principle. To a point, it works. Most people achieve more when expectations are set high. The strategy …
The Magical Reign of Harry Potter 732.1
It’s been 14 glorious years since Harry Potter was first introduced to the world. I truly loved each of the seven books and enjoyed the eight movies I’ve seen already . I’ve had lots of company — over 450 million books have been sold, and the movies (not counting the film just released) have taken in $6.5 billion in box …
COMMENTARY: Permitting Cheating Promotes Cheating 731.5
Reports of widespread cheating by schools in Baltimore, Washington, D.C., and other districts – highlighted by the huge scandal in Atlanta involving 178 teachers and principals – should be alarming. If our educators don’t have the moral courage and integrity to resist pressures to cheat, what hope do we have that they will successfully instill these virtues in their students? …
Appreciating a Parent’s Love 731.4
While window-shopping in New York City, I saw an old gold watch that reminded me of one my father gave me when I graduated from college. It had been engraved with the simple inscription “Love, Dad.” But it was stolen during a burglary years ago, and I hadn’t thought much of it or the inscription since. I always knew my …
Even Our Schools Are Cheating 731.3
Most Americans condemn cheating in sports, business, and marriage, yet our culture is pervaded by cheating. Premier athletes use performance-enhancing drugs, cheating in business ravages our economy, and the media regularly exposes infidelity by prominent personalities and politicians. But it gets worse. Atlanta’s public school system, which won national recognition and millions of dollars of awards for apparent improvements in …
The Struggle Between Wants and Shoulds 731.2
As a full-time ethicist – can you believe there is such a thing? – I spend most of my time talking about right and wrong with parents and politicians, kids and corporate managers, journalists and generals. One thing I’ve learned is that ethics – being a good person and doing the right thing – is easier said than done. Ethics, …
A Tale of Two Commentaries 731.1
Preface: The 90-second limit for my radio commentaries precludes a more thorough discussion of some issues. This “essay” is an expanded version of what was broadcast. Please remember my personal views in the commentaries, especially on controversial matters like these, are NOT views either endorsed or espoused by the Institute or the CHARACTER COUNTS! program. The Institute and CHARACTER COUNTS! …
The Golden Rule As the Road of Honor 730.5
Five hundred years before the birth of Christ, Confucius was asked, “Is there one word that may serve as a rule of practice for all one’s life?” He answered, “Reciprocity. What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.” This basic principle, now called the Golden Rule, can be found in every major religion and philosophy. …
Casey and O.J. 730.4
As a former law professor specializing in teaching trial practice, I watched hours and hours of the Casey Anthony murder trial with a keen professional eye. I thought Ms. Anthony’s lead attorney Jose Baez made some terrible decisions, including an opening statement proposing a totally unbelievable theory designed to excuse his client’s mountain of lies and explain how her two-year-old’s …
Go for It! 730.3
I recently attended the USAIGC National Girls Gymnastics Championships to see my daughter Carissa compete. It was nerve-racking on several levels. Though my wife owns and operates a highly successful gymnastics academy (JAG Gym in Culver City), and I am very familiar with every aspect of the sport, it’s hard not to worry about the possibility of injury on every …
Freedom From Ideological Tyranny 730.1
The Fourth of July should be more than a birthday celebration marked by fireworks. It’s a time to appreciate and honor the great democracy our forefathers created, including a profoundly wise system of Constitutional checks and balances. Conflicting views of rights and responsibilities are unavoidable, but passionate disagreement and debate should strengthen rather than undermine our commitment to peacefully and …
Listening: A Vital Dimension of Respect 729.5
The virtue of respectfulness is demonstrated by being courteous, being civil, and treating everyone in a manner that acknowledges and honors their essential human dignity. An important but often neglected aspect of respectfulness is listening to what others say. Respectful listening is more than hearing. It requires us to consider what’s being said. That’s hard when we’ve heard it before, …
Righteousness Is Revealed in Conduct, Not Rhetoric 729.4
It’s hard to look at the world and some of the people who seem to get ahead without occasionally asking ourselves why we should be ethical. However normal it is to think like this, the question should be off limits for people who profess strong religious beliefs. After all, what religion does not mandate morality? To authentically religious people, the …