Dear Reader and Friend, I hope it’s not presumptuous to address you as “Friend,” but I’ve shared with you so many of my deepest thoughts — including my recent sense of loss and uncertainty when the radio station KNX in Los Angeles cancelled the Character Counts broadcasts — that I feel a genuine intimacy with you. I’ll turn 69 in a …
COMMENTARY: I Always Have a Happy Thanksgiving 750.4
Thanksgiving is my holiday. I have nine brothers and sisters and a tradition evolved where one of us regularly hosts the family gathering at specific major holidays. Ever since my dad passed away, I became the impresario of our Thanksgiving gala, an event held in a rented tent in the backyard filled with 30-60 relatives and friends. Another part of …
COMMENTARY: Dealing With Toxic Relationships 750.2
Are there people in your life who regularly cause you to feel bad about yourself? Most of us care what others think of us, so knowing that someone doesn’t like us, or doesn’t approve of the judgments we’ve made, or doesn’t like how we look can be hurtful. And when we’re judged by someone whose approval we crave, such as a parent, …
OBSERVATION: Beware of emotional vampires.
Protect yourself from “emotional vampires,” people who suck you or the room dry of cheer or optimism. Look out for workmates, family members, even friends who consistently bring you down or drain your energy with endless complaining or relentless criticism. Seek out the people who bring out the best in you and be sure that you are not someone else’s …
OBSERVATION: Whatever we are today has been influenced by scores of good teachers who taught us how to do things, filled our minds with information and ideas, shaped our attitudes and our deepest beliefs, inspired our ambitions and helped us form our self-image.
Image: Mr. Feeny of Boy Meets World Most of our teachers were not educators; they were our parents, grandparents, friends, coaches and others. Still, a great school teacher can have a great impact. Many films and TV shows have centered on great teachers. Please look at the following list and tell us in the comments which is your favorite (and add …
WORTH READING: Friends
from Positive Outlooks
COMMENTARY: Ask What Can You Do for Your Country
In 1961, President John F. Kennedy, invoked my generation to “Ask not what your country can do for you — ask what you can do for your country.” We are fortunate to live in a free and democratic society where millions of civilians and soldiers serve their fellow citizens. Last Friday was Veteran’s Day and the weekend provided the nation …
WORTH READING & WATCHING: A Perspective of Service from a P.O.W.
It’s hard for some folks to take off their political glasses with lenses that like or dislike, see or not see, according to political predispositions. I think it’s important to remove these glasses when thinking about the nature of the experience that men and women who serve in the armed forces may be subjected to. This story, oft told by …
COMMENTARY: What Your Checkbook and Calendar Say About Your Values 749.1
If I wanted to check your credit worthiness, I’d look at your balance sheet – what you have and what you owe – and I’d want to know about your history of paying your debts. If I wanted to know your values, I’d look at your calendar and checkbook. How come? Well, the term “values” refers
COMMENTARY: “Say it Ain’t So, Joe” 748.4
“Say it ain’t so, Joe” These words, directed at Shoeless Joe Jackson as he emerged from a courthouse where he and seven other White Sox players were accused of taking bribes to manipulate games, expressed the profound sense of betrayal and disappointment suffered when an idol falls from grace. Though Jackson, one of the finest players of his era, claimed …
When Bad Things Happen to Good People 746.5
Recently two dear friends were inflicted by the soul-searing, heart-rending pain of the deaths of people close to them. One lost her lifelong companion and soul mate, a gentle, good man who lived a good life of 70 years. The other had to say goodbye to her totally innocent newborn son, the victim of a neurological anomaly. I’ve tried to …
COMMENTARY: Save the World, Daddy 746.3
Just before leaving for Nigeria I called my daughter Samara, a college freshman at NYU, to say good bye. After a short but pleasant conversation she closed with: “Save the world, daddy. I love you.” I suspect her remark was affectionate teasing, implying that her nearly 69 year old father is a sort of Don Quixote, jousting with wind mills …
A Personal Note
Change is risky. Some will always love the old way while others crave new things and variety. This new format for our newsletter and the blog behind it are the result of the change caused by the loss of one of my major platforms for communication – daily broadcasts on KNX radio in Los Angeles. This format represents our attempt …
A Good Company and a Sharp Ax 745.3
Ben was a new lumberjack who swung his ax with such power he could fell a tree in 20 strokes. In his first few days he produced twice as much lumber as anyone else. He was making quite a reputation for himself but by week’s end, he was less productive. One friend told him he had to swing harder. Another …
Leading by Inspiration 744.5
Why are negative management practices so prevalent? They include yelling, cursing, insults (sometimes masked in sarcasm or masquerading as jokes), criticizing subordinates in front of others, threatening demotion or termination, and talking to adults as if they were children. Why are so many managers insensitive to the demotivating impact of focusing almost exclusively on weaknesses and shortcomings without properly acknowledging …
If You Were Arrested for Kindness 744.4
If you were arrested for kindness, would there be enough evidence to convict you? Some people cheer up a room by entering it, others by leaving it. What do you bring to your interactions with workmates, friends, and family? Is it encouragement, optimism, or kind words? Or is it pessimism, criticism, or cynicism? People often forget what we say and …
I Choose to Live 744.2
Michael was always upbeat. Some found his relentless good moods annoying, but attempts to mock or belittle his cheerfulness were just more fuel for his good nature. Once he explained to a friend how he did it. “Every morning I look in the mirror and say good morning to myself. I see a note on the mirror that says ‘Choose,’ …
Making the Best of Family Relationships 741.5
For most of us, there’s something both wonderful and worrisome about large family gatherings. On the good side, we often can experience real pleasure in
The Power of One 741.3
Reading about the 31-year-old “rogue trader” arrested in London for unauthorized transactions that cost the Swiss Bank UBS $2 billion caused me to think about the power of one person. I’m not talking about great heroes and villains who changed the course of history, but smaller acts by ordinary people. There are lots of angles to thinking about the power …
Worth More Than a Million Dollars 740.5
If you had the choice of winning $1 million in the lottery or saving a stranger’s life, which would you choose? I suspect many of you think you should say, “saving a life,” but what you are really thinking is how much better your life would be if you were rich. If the test was which act improves the world …
A Parable About Leadership 739.5
As the nasty rhetoric of the upcoming presidential campaign sends the message that leadership must be aggressive and confrontational, consider this parable about leadership. A student assigned to write an essay about an effective leader wrote this story: “I’ve been taking a bus to school for years. Most passengers keep to themselves and no one ever talks to anyone else. …
Words of Wisdom: Part Two 738.5
This is the promised Part Two of my list of words of wisdom for my daughter who just entered college. Take control of your life by taking control of your attitudes. Choose to be happy. Choose to be cheerful. Choose to be optimistic. Pursue your passions, but don’t confuse feelings with facts, fun with happiness, or pleasure with fulfillment. Listen …
What Did You Expect Him To Do? 738.3
One of the highlights of my life as a dad – and having five kids, I’ve had quite a few – occurred on a Saturday afternoon when I was taking my then 13-year-old son Justin and his friend Aaron to a movie. As we entered the theater, I noticed the ticket seller had undercharged me, so I asked the boys …
Wisdom in 20 Words or Fewer: Part One 737.4
Since my children were small, I launched their day with the invocation to “be good, have fun and learn.” I hope they remember that mantra, but now that my daughter Samara is beginning her independent life as a college freshman 3,000 miles away, I think a more detailed set of maxims is needed. So, I’ve begun to assemble a collection …
Marriage Is Not a Word 737.3
Marriage is not a word; it’s a sentence. Marriage is a three ring-circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering. A man is incomplete until he’s married; then he’s finished. Marriage is finding the one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Why are there so many mean jokes about marriage? Today, my bride and best friend …
Learning Humanity in the Context of Competition 737.2
Competition often brings out the best performance but it doesn’t always bring out the best in people. Even in the arts, actors, singers, dancers, and musicians must survive and thrive in a competitive community as rude and rough as any. Ambitious parents often introduce toxic gamesmanship and back-biting attitudes very early as their children are judged and ranked by the …
What I Want My Daughter to Get Out of Sports 736.5
Several years ago, when my daughter Carissa was about to enter her first gymnastics competition, I wrote her a letter expressing my hopes and goals for her athletic experience. Here’s a revised version: My dearest Carissa, I know you’ve worked hard to prepare yourself to compete, and I know how much you want to win. That’s a good goal. You …
Ramadan Kareem 736.3
Ramadan Kareem. Ramadan Mubarak. Kul ‘am wa enta bi-khair! (May every year find you in good health!) Please forgive my pronunciation, but I want to respectfully offer warm wishes and greetings to my Muslim brothers and sisters during the holy month of Ramadan. To those whose entire perspective of Islam and the Qur’an is shaped by fear and hatred of …
A Dad Sending His Daughter Off to College 736.1
I want to share a slightly edited portion of a letter my friend Scott Raecker wrote to his daughter Emily on sending her off to college: My Dear Emily, My life changed the day we found out that you were on your way. From that moment forward, you have been on my mind and heart – every day. I vividly …
I Wish Hospitals Were More Hospitable 735.5
Hospitals are super-sanitary institutions housing millions of dollars of technology and scores of trained medical professionals for the purpose of providing medical care for the sick and injured. I just spent some time with my daughter at one of the better hospitals in New York City. She received great treatment, but I wish hospitals were more hospitable. A hospitable place …