http://whatwillmatter.com Thoughts on better parenting, teaching, management, and leadership Thu, 23 May 2013 00:02:06 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 Michael Josephson is a noted radio commentator and the founder and president of the nonprofit Josephson Institute of Ethics and CHARACTER COUNTS!. Subscribers and regular visitors to his blog at WhatWillMatter.com will find written and audio versions of radio commentaries, plus quotations, observations, guest articles, videos, images, surveys, and recommendations. Michael Josephson no Michael Josephson snish@jiethics.org snish@jiethics.org (Michael Josephson) Josephson Institute Thoughts on better parenting, teaching, management, and leadership Michael Josephson, ethics, character, character counts, parenting, family, teaching, management, business ethics, leadership, sportsmanship, inspiration http://whatwillmatter.com/images/WWM-graphic-for-itunes_600x600.jpg http://whatwillmatter.com Los Angeles, California weekdays http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/theres-no-such-thing-as-business-ethics-760-5/ http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/theres-no-such-thing-as-business-ethics-760-5/#comments Wed, 22 May 2013 18:28:35 +0000 Josephson Institute http://whatwillmatter.com/?p=15763 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/theres-no-such-thing-as-business-ethics-760-5/feed/ 0 Some years ago, a senior executive at a Fortune 100 company objected when I asserted that corporations have an ethical, as well as a legal obligation to keep promises and honor their contracts. He said that the decision to live up to or ignore contract... Some years ago, a senior executive at a Fortune 100 company objected when I asserted that corporations have an ethical, as well as a legal obligation to keep promises and honor their contracts. He said that the decision to live up to or ignore contractual commitments is a business decision, not an ethical one. The other party has legal remedies, he said, and therefore responsible managers have a duty to evaluate whether it's in the company's best interest to honor or breach contracts. The decision should be based on a simple cost/benefit analysis. Ethics has nothing to do with it. Disturbingly common, this claim of moral immunity is based on the erroneous idea that in business the only thing to consider is self-interest. The theory that expediency, not ethics, should control decision making flourishes because many people compartmentalize their lives into personal and business domains, assuming each is governed by different standards of ethics. In business, the argument goes, ethical principles are simply factors to be taken into account; they're not moral obligations. As a result, fundamentally good people who would never lie, cheat or break a promise in their personal lives delude themselves into thinking that they can properly do so in business. Nonsense! There's no such thing as "business ethics" -- there's only ethics. Fundamental standards of right and wrong like trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring and good citizenship do not become irrelevant when we enter the workplace. And it doesn't matter how many people think otherwise.  Remember, ethics is not a description of the way people actually behave. It's a prescription for how they ought to behave. This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts. Enjoyed this commentary? Also read Good Ethics Really Is Good Business on this blog. Or have a look at Josephson Institute's Business Ethics and Leadership Blog. Michael Josephson no 1:30 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-828-3-teach-or-punish-that-is-the-question/ http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-828-3-teach-or-punish-that-is-the-question/#comments Tue, 21 May 2013 14:30:28 +0000 Michael Josephson http://whatwillmatter.com/?p=21098 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-828-3-teach-or-punish-that-is-the-question/feed/ 0 As Greg paces the floor, waiting for his 17-year-old daughter Sandy to return from a school event, he feels two conflicting emotions: fear and anger. Fear that something terrible has happened to her. Anger because he thinks his fear is probably unfound... As Greg paces the floor, waiting for his 17-year-old daughter Sandy to return from a school event, he feels two conflicting emotions: fear and anger. Fear that something terrible has happened to her. Anger because he thinks his fear is probably unfounded and Sandy is not hurt, simply irresponsible. Finally, Sandy calls. She’s all right. She just lost track of time. Greg’s fear disappears, but his anger grows. The love that motivated his worry is overwhelmed by a growing sense of outrage. He begins to rehearse what he will say and what punishment he will inflict. Unless he intercepts his anger, it can easily turn to rage, an emotion likely to produce foolishly impulsive conduct that’s likely to alienate Sandy and widen the rift between them. Here’s the character challenge: Can Greg stop his runaway train of anger long enough to think about his objectives? His immediate goal is to vent his fury and frustration and teach Sandy a lesson. His long-term goals are to strengthen — not weaken — his relationship with his daughter and to help her become more responsible and respectful. If Greg stops and thinks about his broader goals, he will want to turn this event into a positive teaching moment. To do that, he will have to choose his words and tone carefully. Good managers don’t yell at or demean employees because it would be ineffective and unethical. Parents have no less of a duty to be tactful and respectful when dealing with their children. This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts. Please return to the Blog Home Page www.whatwillmatter.com  and browse to see other current and archived commentaries, quotes and other good stuff. Michael Josephson no 1:28 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-828-2-self-control/ http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-828-2-self-control/#comments Mon, 20 May 2013 14:30:47 +0000 Michael Josephson http://whatwillmatter.com/?p=21093 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-828-2-self-control/feed/ 0 A frazzled mother with a fussy child caught the eye of a grocery store manager. He overheard her say, “Lily, you can do this. We just have to get a few things.” - Moments later, when the child became more upset, the mother said calmly, “It’s okay, Lily. A frazzled mother with a fussy child caught the eye of a grocery store manager. He overheard her say, “Lily, you can do this. We just have to get a few things.” Moments later, when the child became more upset, the mother said calmly, “It’s okay, Lily. We’re almost done.” When the child became hysterical in the checkout line, the mom took a deep breath and said, “Lily, just hold it together for a few more minutes.” As she was leaving, the store manager stopped her. “I just wanted to compliment you on how remarkably calm and patient you were with little Lily.” The mother laughed. “Well, thank you, but my baby’s name is Lisa. I’m Lily. I was just holding it together for myself.” Self-control is a virtue that doesn’t come easily. This mother had to work on it, talking herself through each challenge. According to Dr. Daniel Goleman, controlling impulses like frustration and anger is a crucial aspect of character that he calls “emotional intelligence.” In fact, he says, “Those who are at the mercy of impulse – who lack self-control – suffer a moral deficiency.” The good news is, this deficiency in self-control can be cured by continuous efforts to identify and overcome negative emotions with rational thought. Although most of us experience negative emotions, inducing us to express anger, give in to frustration, or surrender to temptation, self-control is well within our power. We may not be able to suppress all our emotions and reactions, but we can dictate what we say and do. And whether we’ll allow negative feelings to dominate us. It’s hard work to harness powerful impulses and redirect our thoughts toward positive attitudes, but those who do live happier lives in a happier world. This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts. Please return to the Blog Home Page www.whatwillmatter.com  and browse to see other current and archived commentaries, quotes and other good stuff. Michael Josephson no 1:45 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-828-1-noahs-term-paper/ http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-828-1-noahs-term-paper/#comments Fri, 17 May 2013 14:30:08 +0000 Michael Josephson http://whatwillmatter.com/?p=21087 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-828-1-noahs-term-paper/feed/ 0 choices Noah really needed an ‘A’ on a term paper.  His friend Jason tells him that lots of kids “re-cycle” papers they don’t write and offers to give him a paper his older brother got an ‘A’ on three years ago. When Noah asked his for advice, Noah really needed an ‘A’ on a term paper.  His friend Jason tells him that lots of kids “re-cycle” papers they don’t write and offers to give him a paper his older brother got an ‘A’ on three years ago. When Noah asked his for advice, his father hoped his son wouldn’t cheat but he didn’t want to be judgmental so he said, “Son, it’s your life, I can’t tell you what you should do.  It’s a personal decision.” I think that’s shabby parenting. Noah’s dad declined to provide moral guidance and lost an opportunity to strengthen Noah’s values and his own credibility as a reference point. Kids need parents to bolster their moral will power to resist temptations.  His reluctance to actively intervene and influence is an abdication of responsibility. What’s more, his noncommittal response is not an expression of moral neutrality but a statement that conveys the moral judgment that honesty and integrity are optional. True, this is a personal decision.  Noah has the power; he can choose to be honest or dishonest, ethical or unethical – it’s his call.  But the real question is one of propriety: he didn’t ask his dad “What can I do?” but “What should I do?” This is a question about ethics and it can’t be dodged or evaded. If we want our children to build good values and a strong character based on virtue we have to be willing to teach and advocate those virtues. Sometimes that means saying, “That’s wrong!” This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts. Please return to the Blog Home Page www.whatwillmatter.com  and browse to see other current and archived commentaries, quotes and other good stuff. Michael Josephson no 1:30 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-doing-what-you-must-is-duty-doing-what-you-should-is-virtue-doing-what-you-can-is-service-doing-what-you-are-afraid-of-is-courage-doing-what-you-like-is-freedom-liking-what-you-do-is/ http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-doing-what-you-must-is-duty-doing-what-you-should-is-virtue-doing-what-you-can-is-service-doing-what-you-are-afraid-of-is-courage-doing-what-you-like-is-freedom-liking-what-you-do-is/#comments Thu, 16 May 2013 16:34:12 +0000 Michael Josephson http://whatwillmatter.com/?p=21106 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-doing-what-you-must-is-duty-doing-what-you-should-is-virtue-doing-what-you-can-is-service-doing-what-you-are-afraid-of-is-courage-doing-what-you-like-is-freedom-liking-what-you-do-is/feed/ 0 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-no-one-ever-said-on-their-deathbed-i-wish-i-spent-more-time-at-the-office/ http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-no-one-ever-said-on-their-deathbed-i-wish-i-spent-more-time-at-the-office/#comments Thu, 16 May 2013 16:30:04 +0000 Michael Josephson http://whatwillmatter.com/?p=21103 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-no-one-ever-said-on-their-deathbed-i-wish-i-spent-more-time-at-the-office/feed/ 0 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-827-5-ethics-easier-said-than-done/ http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-827-5-ethics-easier-said-than-done/#comments Thu, 16 May 2013 14:30:43 +0000 Michael Josephson http://whatwillmatter.com/?p=21069 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-827-5-ethics-easier-said-than-done/feed/ 0 ethics As a full-time ethicist – can you believe there even is such a thing? – I spend lots of time talking and writing about right and wrong. One thing I've learned is that in the last analysis, consistently doing the right thing is easier said than done. - As a full-time ethicist – can you believe there even is such a thing? – I spend lots of time talking and writing about right and wrong. One thing I've learned is that in the last analysis, consistently doing the right thing is easier said than done. For one thing, it's not always easy knowing what's right. We want to believe that ethics is simple and that everything we needed to know we learned in kindergarten, but if that's so, I must have been absent that day. There are many situations where ethical values clash and there's no clear or simple right thing to do. But even if we always knew what was right, consistently doing it isn't easy. Sometimes we just can't get everything we want by being honest and following all the rules. Ethics limits our options and can be a competitive disadvantage. So, when there's a gap between what we want to do (our desires) and what we should do (our ethical duties) we often rationalize or compromise. Thus, even basically good people lie occasionally, cheat just a little, and justify moral shortcuts. No one is perfect. It's human nature. But it's also human nature to strive for moral perfection and to care about our character. That's the part of our nature we need to strengthen. A healthy and realistic goal is not to be perfect but to be constantly getting better. And one doesn't have to be sick to get better. Yes, it often takes moral will power to do the right thing when it costs more than we want to pay, but that's what character is all about. For all our cynicism about the growing hole in our moral ozone, there are lots of good people who resist temptations every day. Sure there's a price, but there's also a big pay-off. You'll improve the quality of your life and set an example for your children. This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts. Please return to the Blog Home Page www.whatwillmatter.com  and browse to see other current and archived commentaries, quotes and other good stuff.   Michael Josephson no 1:36 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-i-think-the-purpose-of-life-is-to-be-useful-to-be-responsible-to-be-honorable-to-be-compassionate-it-is-after-all-to-matter-to-count-to-stand-for-something-to-have-made-some-d/ http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-i-think-the-purpose-of-life-is-to-be-useful-to-be-responsible-to-be-honorable-to-be-compassionate-it-is-after-all-to-matter-to-count-to-stand-for-something-to-have-made-some-d/#comments Wed, 15 May 2013 16:10:31 +0000 Michael Josephson http://whatwillmatter.com/?p=21084 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-i-think-the-purpose-of-life-is-to-be-useful-to-be-responsible-to-be-honorable-to-be-compassionate-it-is-after-all-to-matter-to-count-to-stand-for-something-to-have-made-some-d/feed/ 0 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-if-you-want-to-know-how-to-live-your-life-think-about-what-youd-like-people-to-say-about-you-after-you-die-and-live-backwards/ http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-if-you-want-to-know-how-to-live-your-life-think-about-what-youd-like-people-to-say-about-you-after-you-die-and-live-backwards/#comments Wed, 15 May 2013 16:03:58 +0000 Michael Josephson http://whatwillmatter.com/?p=21081 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-if-you-want-to-know-how-to-live-your-life-think-about-what-youd-like-people-to-say-about-you-after-you-die-and-live-backwards/feed/ 0 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-827-4-avoiding-temptations/ http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-827-4-avoiding-temptations/#comments Wed, 15 May 2013 14:30:55 +0000 Michael Josephson http://whatwillmatter.com/?p=21058 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-827-4-avoiding-temptations/feed/ 0 When my daughter Samara was four she pointed to a delicate glass vase and asked, “What’s that?” - “It’s very special,” I answered. “It was my mother’s. I would really feel bad if it ever got broken, so please be careful to never, never touch it.” - When my daughter Samara was four she pointed to a delicate glass vase and asked, “What’s that?” “It’s very special,” I answered. “It was my mother’s. I would really feel bad if it ever got broken, so please be careful to never, never touch it.” Without a moment’s hesitation she said, “Then you should never, never put it where I can reach it.” Her remark reminded me of an Oscar Wilde quote: “I can resist anything but temptation.” Samara understood the power of the temptation and shifted the responsibility to me. If I wanted the vase safe, keep it out of her path. And, of course, she was right. We would both be happier if I didn’t tempt her. After all, it is easier to avoid than resist temptations. Even people of character can succumb to temptations at weak moments. If you’re on a diet, don’t let them bring out the dessert tray. If you’re on a tight budget, don’t even window shop for things you can’t afford. And if you’re committed to celibacy or fidelity don’t get near situations where your resolve could be tested. The 19th century English novelist Margaret Oliphant said, “As a general rule, temptations come when they are sought.” If we’re honest with ourselves we would have to admit that many of the morally precarious situations we’ve found ourselves in were not entirely unwelcome. It’s reckless to invite temptation to sit beside us and believe that we will have the strength to say no at the right time. This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts. Please return to the Blog Home Page www.whatwillmatter.com  and browse to see other current and archived commentaries, quotes and other good stuff. Michael Josephson no 1:33