While researching the bullying issue for a CHARACTER COUNTS! seminar, I came across Vicky Bell’s blog, where she posted a letter to her daughter in college. I think her advice moving and wise. Here’s an abridged version:
Hello my girl. . . You may have heard about the NJ college student who killed himself because his roommate posted a videotape of him having sex with another guy. My mommy job requires that I remind you: Nothing ruins your life forever. NOTHING.
If that young man had only waited a couple of weeks . . . he’d have gotten past it. People have short memories- life would have gotten better, much better. . . . A few awkward moments and then life goes on.
But when you are young you don’t know that even the awkward moments are fleeting. On this, you just have to trust the old people. . . . Awful things happen, [but] . . . somehow time goes by and it gets better. I promise you, it ALWAYS gets better.
Never, ever think something is unfixable. . . . NOTHING you do could be so awful you can’t get past it.
And if someone is mean to you, and it isn’t something you can ignore– seek out people to talk to about it. Surround yourself with people who are supportive. . . . Right now- before you might need such help- think about who you would talk to if needed. In the midst of turmoil . . . having a plan makes it easier to find help . . . . Remember, there are always alternatives. Always.
This mom was right. We can’t make the pain go away, but it will go away. Just hang in there!
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.
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