COMMENTARY 773.1: Good Ethics Make Better Relationships

While I believe that good things tend to happen to people who consistently choose the high road, the correlation between ethics and success is a loose one at best. Thus, it’s pretty hard to sincerely promote ethics by appeals to self-interest.

What’s more, when self-interest is the controlling justification for moral behavior, moral reasoning is replaced by a pragmatic cost-benefit analysis that invites rationalizations and condones selfishness. When people are kind, honest, or respectful only when there’s a pay-off, or obey rules only when they think the risk of punishment is too great, ethical behavior is just an investment. Judging by the amount of lying, cheating, and other dishonorable conduct out there, it’s not generally regarded as a good investment.

Too often honesty and other virtues impede rather than improve chances for success. For those who are unwilling to pay dues for their integrity, ethics simply costs more than they’re willing to pay.

But there is an undervalued benefit of good character, a benefit we can promote in good faith to our kids, students, and employees: people who struggle to be good and decent have better relationships.

Traits like honesty, responsibility, compassion, and respectfulness may seem like expensive luxuries, but they’re priceless assets when it comes to building enduring and rewarding relationships with our spouses, children, friends, and co-workers. For most people, good relationships marked by love, respect, and kindness are the best road to happiness. When you think of it, that’s really quite a pay-off.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

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Comments 1

  1. Sincere, patient reflection on the benefits of being an honorable person (a person of character) reveals that this life-long quest is truly in our (collective and individual) best interests. This perspective is discovered through: instruction, study, reflection, practice, assessment, and experience. These provide knowledge, understanding, discipline, belief, and wisdom. Trust is the foundation for success (happiness) in all relationships and endeavors. Trust is earned and sustained through consistent demonstration of comptence and character. There is no “self-interest” higher than striving to be a person who is “Trustworthy.”

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