QUOTE & POSTER: Gratitude is not a statement, it’s a feeling.

It is so easy to say I am grateful that I often don’t stop to really, really experience gratitude. Saying the words doesn’t mean a thing without the feeling and it takes a moment of genuine reflection to summon that feeling. This Thanksgiving, don’t shortchange yourself with hollow words — EXPERIENCE THE FEELING.

QUOTE AND OBSERVATION: If we take care to repair ourselves with ointments laced with gratitude, humility and compassion, the scars left by healed wounds reveal life insights and experiences that can make us more beautiful.-Michael Josephson

Nietzsche told us “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” and Hemingway wrote about becoming stronger in broken places. A different way of thinking is found in the Japanese concept of kintsukuroi the art of repairing broken pottery with gold or silver lacquer in a way that makes the object more beautiful than it was before. I think this is …

Poster: Five things to teach your children

1. Be a good friend. 2. Be kind even to those who don’t deserve it. 3. Learn from every experience. 4. Do your share even when others aren’t doing theirs. 5. Start and finish a job even when you don’t want to.- Michael Josephson  Click to see poster.

COMMENTARY 899.2: Are You the Father Your Child Deserves?

Listening to 9/11 survivors re-live the horrendous event that shattered their lives should remind us all to treat every day as a gift, and to treasure every opportunity to give or receive love. This is especially true for parents. A favorite story is about a 10-year-old boy who was told by his father not to expect him to go to …

COMMENTARY 899.1: Let the Butterfly Struggle

A young mother was fascinated but concerned as she watched a butterfly struggling mightily to escape through the small opening at the top of its cocoon. And when the creature seemed to give up overwhelmed by the task, she felt sure that it wouldn’t make it without help. So she enlarged the hole. The grateful butterfly wriggled out. Unfortunately, its …

COMMENTARY 893.5: Moving From Success to Significance

I frequently address people who are highly successful. They’re at the top of their field and often have all the comforts that wealth can afford. Most seem to enjoy their success. So, in a way, it surprises me how deeply many of them respond when I talk about the difference between success and significance. Invariably, I see knowing nods when …

COMMENTARY 893.3: The Garden

A listener once sent me a poem with an unknown source called “The Garden.” I liked the idea so I rewrote it. Here’s my version of a lifetime garden to nourish your life: First, plant six rows of squash: 1. Squash dishonesty in all its forms. 2. Squash prejudice. 3. Squash fear.

COMMENTARY 893.2: Tyranny of the Minority

According to a survey of parents, 93 percent want schools to teach basic values like honesty and respect. The problem is, schools are left to contend with the 7 percent who disagree. In any enterprise that seeks to avoid conflict and find consensus, that small minority may often dictate policy. Too often, aggressive objectors bully administrators into quick surrender with …

COMMENTARY 893.1: A Parable About Leadership

Listening to politicians’ nasty rhetoric, one might think that leadership has to be aggressive and confrontational, but consider this parable about leadership. A student assigned to write an essay about an effective leader wrote this story: “I’ve been taking a bus to school for years. Most passengers keep to themselves and no one ever talks to anyone else.

COMMENTARY 892.5: Worth More Than a Million Dollars

If you had the choice of winning $1 million in the lottery or saving a stranger’s life, which would you choose? I suspect many of you think you should say, “saving a life,” but what you are really thinking is how much better your life would be if you were rich. If the test was which act improves the world …

BUT IT LOOKED LIKE HE WAS HAVING SO MUCH FUN. Don’t be sad that the world lost such a great talent, be sad that this incredibly gifted man, who so easily won the admiration and affection of so many, was so terribly unhappy.

ROBBIN WILLIAMS. Whatever it takes to have a true sense of inner peace is obviously illusive. If it were talent, fame, money or the adoration of the masses, Robbin Williams would have been happy. Lincoln said, “folks are generally about as happy as they are willing to be.”  Why is it so hard to be willing to be happy? The key to …

You Can’t Lose by Relentlessly Pursuing Excellence

As I embark on a pilgrimage with my 65-year-old little brother to see the Baseball Hall of Fame, I am also frantically trying to complete a book on “The Exemplary Policing Organization.” As my two worlds collided, I got to thinking about what it means to be exemplary, to be one of the best ever at something — to be worthy of …

COMMENTARY 890.5: The Dangers of Absolutism

The world of ethics spreads from the borders of the absolutists, who think every moral question has a clear and single answer, to the coast of the relativists, who believe ethics is a matter of personal opinion or regional custom. In distinguishing right from wrong, absolutists don’t see much of a difference between mathematical calculation and moral reasoning. They’re extraordinarily …

COMMENTARY 887.1: Democracy and Respectful Discourse

On this Fourth of July, I hope you will take time to experience pride in and appreciation for the great qualities of our country. One quality of our democracy is that every citizen is a public official. Thus, the passionate advocacy of political convictions is not only a right, it’s a patriotic obligation. What worries me, however, is the tendency of many …

COMMENTARY 886.2: The Paradoxical Commandments

In 1968, when Kent M. Keith was a 19-year-old sophomore at Harvard, he wrote the Paradoxical Commandments as part of a booklet for student leaders. He describes the Commandments as guidelines for finding personal meaning in the face of adversity: 1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway. 2. If you do good, people will accuse you of …

COMMENTARY 872.5: Clichés and Milestones

One of the things I hate most about clichés is that whenever I experience milestone experiences, I have to admit they are true. There’s nothing unique or original about my feelings except that they are mine. So, when I witnessed my daughter Samara turn 18, my mind and heart flooded with trite and corny thoughts and emotions: “Where did the …