What class of people has been more glorified or vilified than Mothers? On the one hand, we are frequently confronted with an idealized image of the sainted, angel mother, often with white hair and hands callused from work. She is the embodiment of the most beneficent human qualities: nurturing, loving, devoted and wise. And she is the favorite subject of …
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT FOR TEENS: Trust, Promises, and Good Friends
Hi, this is Michael Josephson with Something to Think About. Sarah was 16 and when her mom saw that her grades were slipping she said “No parties until you get your grades up.” This led to a nasty fight with Sarah calling her mom unfair and her mom calling Sarah irresponsible. Later Sara tried a different approach. “You’re right,” she …
COMMENTARY 774.5: Justin’s Introduction to Candor
When my son Justin was in high school, I went to an open house to meet his teachers. I was taken aback when one teacher casually mentioned that she had disciplined my son for cheating on a homework assignment. I asked my son why he hadn’t told me about this incident. “You didn’t ask,” he said. To say the least, …
COMMENTARY 774.4: The Dangers of Absolutism
The world of ethics spreads from the borders of the absolutists, who think every moral question has a clear and single answer, to the coast of the relativists, who believe ethics is a matter of personal opinion or regional custom. In distinguishing right from wrong, absolutists don’t see much of a difference between mathematical calculation and moral reasoning. They’re extraordinarily …
COMMENTARY 774.3: Accountability in the Workplace
Lately I’ve been spending a lot of time consulting with large companies concerned with strengthening their ethical culture. Although I’m sure the leaders I work with care about ethics and virtue for their own sake, I know the driving force to seek outside assistance is self-interest. The risk of reputation-damaging and resource-draining charges resulting from improper conduct is so high …
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT FOR TEENS: Building Cathedrals — How Your Attitudes Shape Your Life
Hi, this is Michael Josephson with Something to Think About. A long time ago a reporter visited a rock quarry where three men were cutting granite out of the walls. He asked the first what he was doing and the man grunted, “I’m making bricks.” The second man grinned and said, “I’m making the foundation for a building.” The third …
COMMENTARY 774.2: He Made You
As Lily Tomlin said, “No matter how cynical I get, I can’t keep up.” Our economy has been shattered by widespread corporate fraud; kids lie, steal, and cheat at unprecedented rates; and their parents beat up each other or referees at youth sports events or supply alcohol to fuel organized hazing. Our confidence in the integrity of journalistic institutions, the …
COMMENTARY 774.1: Acting on Principle and Good Intentions
I once heard a story about an emergency medical technician I’ll call Jake who was summoned to help an unconscious woman. When he arrived, she had no pulse. From her color and dilated eyes, he could tell she’d suffered serious brain damage. Still, he did his job exceptionally well, trying over and over to restart her heart. She finally regained …
COMMENTARY 773.5 & STTA #6: The Master Carpenter and His Crumbling Integrity
Hi, this is Michael Josephson with something to think about. Joe was a master carpenter who worked for Martin, a very successful builder of fine homes for 40 years. When he told Martin he wanted to retire, Martin thanked him graciously and gave him a $10,000 check for Joe’s years of service. Martin owned a magnificent lot with a spectacular …
COMMENTARY 773.4: Grocery Store Ethics
You can tell a lot about people’s character by how they act at the grocery store. I remember being in a crowded store when there was a shortage of shopping carts. A prosperous-looking fellow was pushing a cart when another man stopped him. “Excuse me,” the second man said, “but this is my cart.”
COMMENTARY 773.3: What’s So Important About the Law?
Did you know today is Law Day? In 1958 President Eisenhower declared May 1st Law Day to honor the critical role of law in our unique constitutional democracy. It may seem peculiar to some to celebrate the concept and reality of law, but the truth is that most of us vastly under-appreciate the significance of law to our way of thinking …
COMMENTARY 773.2 & SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT #5: Will, Fern, and the Power of Encouragement
Two frogs named Will and Fern fell into a deep pit together. At first, they thought it would be easy to jump out. But after lots of failed attempts they cried for help and a crowd of animals gathered around the pit. Everyone agreed it was hopeless so they urged Will and Fern to accept their fate. The harder the …
COMMENTARY 773.1: Good Ethics Make Better Relationships
While I believe that good things tend to happen to people who consistently choose the high road, the correlation between ethics and success is a loose one at best. Thus, it’s pretty hard to sincerely promote ethics by appeals to self-interest. What’s more, when self-interest is the controlling justification for moral behavior, moral reasoning is replaced by a pragmatic cost-benefit …
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT #4: I Just Have to Outrun You
Hi, this is Michael Josephson with something to think about. During a camping trip, Marie and Jessica were hiking in a trail when they saw a big black bear. Marie started to take off her backpack. Jessica whispered, “What are you going to do?” Marie answered, “I’m going to run for it.”
COMMENTARY 772.5: Planned Abandonment
Management guru Peter Drucker advocated a practice he called planned abandonment. He stressed how important it is that managers develop the wisdom and courage to regularly review what their organization is doing and determine whether it’s worth doing. He urged executives to note and resist the systemic and emotional forces that make it difficult to abandon activities that drain resources, …
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT: Leadership on a Bus
Mr. Martin told his English class that leadership was “influencing meaningful change either through your own conduct or by motivating others to act,” and he assigned an essay requiring students to write about a personal experience with leadership. The students groaned, insisting they couldn’t think of anything, so Mr. Martin read an essay submitted last semester:
COMMENTARY 772.2: Ethics — Easier Said Than Done
As a full-time ethicist – can you believe there even is such a thing? – I spend lots of time talking and writing about right and wrong. One thing I’ve learned is that in the last analysis, consistently doing the right thing is easier said than done. For one thing, it’s not always easy knowing what’s right. We want to …
COMMENTARY 771.4: The Responsibility to Decide
Frank is a new supervisor who wants to do well. Maria consistently comes in late. When he confronts her, she makes a joke out of it. Hoping to win friendship and loyalty, Frank is painfully patient with her, but Pat, a conscientious employee, urges him to do more. Soon others begin to come in late, and Pat quits. Frank feels …
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT FOR TEENS: Is This Generous or Just Dumb?
Hi, this is Michael Josephson for CHARACTER COUNTS! with “Something to Think About” A few years ago, I told this story on the radio and it generated a lot of disagreement. Jack was excited when he was given an unexpected bonus check of $1,000 from his employers. He was anxious to rush home to tell his family, but before he …
COMMENTARY 770.5: Desiderata
In 1927, Max Ehrmann gave us timeless advice in a poem called “Desiderata” (Latin for “things desired”): Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and …
COMMENTARY 770.1: Respect Means Knowing When to Back Off
I’ve talked before about the ethical obligation to treat others with respect by attentive listening. Today, I want to talk about the flip side of respect: the duty to back off and accept the fact that while others should listen to us, we can’t demand that they agree with us. Such unreasonable demands are especially prevalent when someone in authority …
COMMENTARY 769.5: Sharpen Your Ax
Ben was a new lumberjack who swung his ax with great power. He could fell a tree in 20 strokes, and in the first few days he produced twice as much lumber as anyone else. By week’s end, he was working even harder, but his lead was dwindling. One friend told him he had to swing harder. Another said he …
COMMENTARY: The Guy in the Glass
Years ago I came across a poem entitled “The Man in the Glass” by Dale Wimbrow. I looked it up on the Internet and discovered a website maintained by his children that contains the original version written in 1934 and published in The American Magazine as “The Guy in the Glass.”
COMMENTARY 769.1: R-E-S-P-E-C-T
R- E- S- P- E- C- T – Aretha Franklin reminded us how it’s spelled, but a lot of us need coaching on how to show it. In both personal and political relationships, the failure to treat each other with respect is generating incivility, contempt, and violence. There’s an important distinction between respecting a person in the sense that we …
COMMENTARY 768.5: If You’re in a Hole, Stop Digging.
Most of us have lied to get out of trouble. From childhood denials (“It wasn’t me!”) to adult fabrications (“The check is in the mail…”), what seem like harmless falsehoods easily fall from our tongues. And then we make up more excuses or tell more lies to protect the first one. Soon the “cover-up” is more serious and credibility-damaging than …
COMMENTARY 768.4: I’m Only a One-Star
Years ago I was talking to a group of Army generals about the way politicians often treat the defense budget as an all-purpose public works fund to help bring money into their districts. One general admitted, “Yes, if the chairman of the Appropriations Committee comes from a place that makes trucks, we’re probably going to buy those trucks. That’s the …
COMMENTARY 768.3: Shaping Values, Shaping Lives
Blessed with the opportunities and burdened with the aggravations of raising four teenage daughters , my wife Anne and I are profoundly aware of the importance of instilling good values and decision-making skills to help them be safe, successful, happy, and good. I think we’re doing a good job, but we know that isn’t enough. We worry about the values …
COMMENTARY 768.2: Rebuilding Your Life and Your Reputation
Larry wrote me the following letter: “I’ve been a small businessman for almost 23 years in a business where people lie, cheat, and steal. I’m sorry to say I became one of them. In the short term it may have helped, but long term it came back to haunt me. There’s no amount of success that’s worth it. I am …
COMMENTARY 768.1: We Shape Our Own Character
There’s no doubt that our character has a profound effect on our future. What we must remember, however, is not merely how powerful character is in influencing our destiny, but how powerful we are in shaping our own character and, therefore, our own destiny. Character may determine our fate, but character is not determined by fate.
COMMENTARY 767.5: Two Sets of Proud Parents
I received an e-mail with a story worth sharing. Only the names have been changed to preserve privacy. Doug is the proud and loving father of Emma, a high school junior who takes a leadership class responsible for putting on dances and other student events. All student body officers must take the class, but a number of other kids like …