COMMENTARY 772.5: Planned Abandonment

Management guru Peter Drucker advocated a practice he called planned abandonment. He stressed how important it is that managers develop the wisdom and courage to regularly review what their organization is doing and determine whether it’s worth doing. He urged executives to note and resist the systemic and emotional forces that make it difficult to abandon activities that drain resources, …

COMMENTARY 770.1: Respect Means Knowing When to Back Off

I’ve talked before about the ethical obligation to treat others with respect by attentive listening. Today, I want to talk about the flip side of respect: the duty to back off and accept the fact that while others should listen to us, we can’t demand that they agree with us. Such unreasonable demands are especially prevalent when someone in authority …

COMMENTARY 769.1: R-E-S-P-E-C-T

R- E- S- P- E- C- T – Aretha Franklin reminded us how it’s spelled, but a lot of us need coaching on how to show it. In both personal and political relationships, the failure to treat each other with respect is generating incivility, contempt, and violence. There’s an important distinction between respecting a person in the sense that we …

COMMENTARY 768.5: If You’re in a Hole, Stop Digging.

Most of us have lied to get out of trouble. From childhood denials (“It wasn’t me!”) to adult fabrications (“The check is in the mail…”), what seem like harmless falsehoods easily fall from our tongues. And then we make up more excuses or tell more lies to protect the first one. Soon the “cover-up” is more serious and credibility-damaging than …

COMMENTARY 767.5: Two Sets of Proud Parents

I received an e-mail with a story worth sharing. Only the names have been changed to preserve privacy. Doug is the proud and loving father of Emma, a high school junior who takes a leadership class responsible for putting on dances and other student events. All student body officers must take the class, but a number of other kids like …

COMMENTARY 767.2: Teaching Our Children To Be Better Than Us

Do parents have moral standing to impose standards on their children that they themselves did not follow when they were kids? Is it ever ethical for parents to lie to a child about their youthful experiences? These are important questions because it’s a parent’s duty to teach, enforce, advocate, and model good behavior for their kids. Sure, it’d be easier …

COMMENTARY 766.3: Doctoring With A Heart

When you visit a medical specialist, an emergency room, or a patient in the hospital, are you ever struck by a sense that many doctors are so focused on the scientific aspects of diagnosis and treatment of illness or injury that they ignore, maybe even become annoyed by, things like pain, fear, or anxiety? In her book Medicine as Ministry, …

COMMENTARY 765.4: Using All Your Strength

A young boy was walking with his father along a country road. When they came across a very large tree branch, the boy asked, “Do you think I could move that branch?” His father answered, “If you use all your strength, I’m sure you can.” The boy tried mightily to lift, pull, and push the branch, but he couldn’t move …

WORTH READING: Wow! Lots of interesting findings and facts on Religion in America

Today’s commentary looks at some of the data in a major survey conducted by the Pew Forum for Religion & American Life. The study comprehensively details the belief patterns of the 14 largest religious traditions. Below is a more complete summary of key findings I found interesting. BELIEF IN GOD. 92% believe in God or a universal spirit; only 8% say …

COMMENTARY 762.5: Cheating — We Don’t Want to Ruin Their Lives

A few years ago, 14 students at an affluent public high school were involved in a school break-in. They weren’t vandals and weren’t trying to steal anything. Their goal was to alter the computer records of their academic transcripts so they’d have a better chance of getting into premier colleges. Some people were horrified, others amused, and still others treated …

COMMENTARY 762.3: The True Meaning of Love – Love Is Not A Mirage

If we can get beyond the corny red heart clichés and commercialism surrounding Valentine’s Day, there’s real value in celebrating the idea of love. Okay, love doesn’t always conquer all and it’s rarely forever, but I worry that the hearts and souls of a whole generation are being corrupted by images that mock and trivialize the beauty and sanctity of …

OBSERVATION: The Perfect Boyfriend

The perfect boyfriend. Someone whose heart beats faster when he sees you, thinks of you as beautiful instead of hot, calls you back when you hang up on him, will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat or will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for a young man who will kiss away your tears, and …

COMMENTARY: Teach Or Punish, That Is the Question 761.4

As Greg paces the floor, waiting for his 17-year-old daughter Sandy to return from a school event, he feels two conflicting emotions: fear and anger. Fear that something terrible has happened to her. Anger because he thinks his fear is probably unfounded and Sandy is not hurt, simply irresponsible. Finally, Sandy calls. She’s all right. She just lost track of …

COMMENTARY 759.5: Ten Truths for the Person in Charge

Based on years of managing several organizations, including the Josephson Institute of Ethics, and on extensive consultation with large and small organizations, I’ve distilled much of what I believe and advocate into “Ten Truths.” I hope you find this list helpful. Feel free to share it with colleagues and friends. (Or print this mini-poster version of the list.) Everyone rationalizes; including you. (We’re all …

COMMENTARY: How to Change Attitudes and Behavior — “I Can Do It and It’s Worth It.” 758.6

In yesterday’s commentary, I talked about a teacher named Shavonne who was at wits end with several students, including Leon, whose lack of self-control when he became angry or frustrated constantly created trouble.  She was certain that nothing short of intense therapy could change his behavior. Changing Leon’s behavior will be a challenge, but it has to start with changing …

COMMENTARY: Making Good Decisions 757.4

More often than we like, most of us are faced with choices that can have serious and lasting impact on our lives. Do we go along with the crowd? Do we tell someone off, quit a job, end a relationship? Unfortunately, these decisions are not preceded by a drumroll warning us that the stakes are high and, even worse, we …

COMMENTARY: True Friends 757.3

So what are the qualities of a true friend? True friends are good companions, people you enjoy doing things with, but they are also people you just enjoy being with. In true friendships the activity is incidental – it doesn’t matter much what you are doing together as long as you are together. True friends are people you want to …

COMMENTARY: The Treasure of Old Friends 757.2

In my lifetime, I’ve had the good fortune of having a handful of good friends. Each of my four teenage daughters have many hundreds. At least that what they call every Facebook connection they collect like trophies. The list of those kinds of friends includes people they barely know, some they don’t know at all and even some people they …

OBSERVATION: Scientific evidence and personal experience teach us that approaching each daily task and our lives in general with a positive attitude (optimism, enthusiasm, confidence) significantly increases actual success and enhances personal happiness. Yet many of us stifle our careers and pollute our personal relationships by persistent negativity. Just as losing weight and keeping it off is really hard, so is losing self-defeating attitudes and staying positive — but it’s doable and worth it. The strategy: self-consciously cultivate optimism.

Here are  some suggestions to help you more consistently reap the benefits of positivity.

OBSERVATION: Talent is, of course, important, but the two qualities that make the critical difference between talented people who succeed and those who don’t are persistence and positivity. Successful people don’t give up or lose confidence; they learn from every experience and get better.

Two of America’s greatest inventors, Charles Kettering  and Thomas Edison, embraced the same philosophy, which allowed them to take in stride what others called failure, and build upon it. Kettering said: “I failed forward to  success.  An inventor fails

WORTH READING: Recommended Books on Understanding and Parenting Teenagers

Why Do They Act That Way? A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen by David Walsh, Ph.D. (2004) Reviews from Amazon: “A powerful, practical book on the teenage brain. Walsh is a storyteller with the gifts of simplicity and clarity. This book is an easy read, but its message is fresh, nuanced, and important. I recommend …