Protect yourself from “emotional vampires,” people who suck you or the room dry of cheer or optimism. Look out for workmates, family members, even friends who consistently bring you down or drain your energy with endless complaining or relentless criticism. Seek out the people who bring out the best in you and be sure that you are not someone else’s …
OBSERVATION: Forgiveness – Should you continue to forgive a person who continually does things that require forgiveness?
Whether to forgive and whether to stay in any sort of relationship are two very different questions. There are two types of forgiveness: One is to free the person who needs forgiveness from guilt, to let them off the hook, to give them a second chance. The other is to free yourself from the bonds of resentment so you can …
OBSERVATION: Whatever we are today has been influenced by scores of good teachers who taught us how to do things, filled our minds with information and ideas, shaped our attitudes and our deepest beliefs, inspired our ambitions and helped us form our self-image.
Image: Mr. Feeny of Boy Meets World Most of our teachers were not educators; they were our parents, grandparents, friends, coaches and others. Still, a great school teacher can have a great impact. Many films and TV shows have centered on great teachers. Please look at the following list and tell us in the comments which is your favorite (and add …
OBSERVATION: Giving Advice
Observations about advice: 1) Proverb: “To be successful is to follow the advice you give to others.” Why are we so much smarter, more sensible, and stronger when we are dealing with problems of others? 2) Samuel Coleridge: “Advice is like snow; the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind.” Giving …
OBSERVATION: Moral courage can be more difficult than physical courage
Protecting others or doing one’s duty despite danger of injury is physical courage. Called bravery and valor, in battle or in public safety professions this form of courage is worthy of admiration. It’s often harder, however, to do what should be done in the face of disapproval, ridicule or risk to social status or career. This is moral courage, an …
OBSERVATION: “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement.” — Helen Keller.
Pessimism and optimism are not just ways we predict the future; these attitudes profoundly affect the future. Pessimism makes our disposition dark and gloomy. Optimism is a source of light and energy for everyone in range of its power. Both are contagious. It’s true that some people are more naturally optimistic, cheerful, and hopeful than others but even people with …
OBSERVATION: I Changed My Mind – What do you think?
In this week’s newsletter you will read a commentary, “Say It Ain’t So, Joe,” where I argued that we should give the benefit of the doubt to legendary coach Joe Paterno, who should have done more to assure that the accusation that former coach Jerry Sandusky raped a young boy in a Penn State shower room was brought to the …
OBSERVATION: Necessity is not a fact, it’s an interpretation. – Nietzsche
When good people do bad things they usually have convinced themselves it’s not bad. One of the most common justifications is that “I had to do it.” That the stakes were so high it was necessary. This rationalization is a form of the idea that “the end justifies the means” and is at the root of every cover-up from Watergate …
OBSERVATION: You can’t control the winds, but you determine your direction and speed if you control the sails.
You can’t control what people say to you or do to you but you control how you feel about and react to what they say and do. You can’t control the demands and expectations of others, but you control which to live by and which to ignore. You can’t control who has opinions on how you live your life, but …
OBSERVATION: In a democracy, every citizen is a public official.
Former Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan, who was used to partisan politics and intense debates, pointed out that, “Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts.” When we instinctively choose to believe what we want to believe or construe all evidence in favor of our predispositions, we effectively disable our ability to participate in rational discourse. If
OBSERVATION: Carpe Diem!
Two thousand years ago, the Roman poet Horace advised his readers to “think of each day as if it were to be your last,” and to seize the day (Carpe Diem!) because you cannot trust what tomorrow will bring. His purpose was not to instill pessimism and fear but to urge us to find joy in each day and to …
OBSERVATION: Enjoy the struggle
F. Scott Fitzgerald said that the most profoundly redeeming qualities of life are found not in moments of pure happiness or pleasure, but in the deeper satisfactions that come out of struggle. The Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard put it another way: “Life must be understood backward, but lived forward.” Thus, we need to regularly remind ourselves to learn from the …