“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent to throw it at someone else. The only one who gets burned is you.” – Buddha
Lying to Avoid Problems…
“Lying to avoid problems is like getting drunk to forget them. It’s a temporary solution with the worst sort of hangover. Your problems are still there, but they are even bigger because now you can’t be trusted.” – Michael Josephson
COMMENTARY 978.5: Understanding Change: The Elephant and the Rider
It took me a long time to realize the limitations of logic. For much of my life, including a 20-year stint as a law professor, I relied on discourse and reasoning to understand and resolve problems. I believed that I should suppress feelings that could result in irrational behavior, and I had little patience for those who seemed to govern …
COMMENTARY 978.4: The Parable of the Carpenter
A master carpenter who had worked for the same builder for nearly 50 years announced he was retiring. The builder told him how much he appreciated his work and presented him with a $5,000 bonus. Then he asked if he would build just one more house. He owned a magnificent lot with a spectacular view and wanted to build a …
Live A Life…
“Live a life that your children can be proud of, and they will live a life you can be proud of.” – Michael Josephson
What is Friendship to You?
Friendship is not a big thing… It’s a million little things.
What Will Matter…
“What will matter in the end is not what you bought but what you built; not what you got but what you gave; not what you learned by what you taught. What will matter is not your competence but your character.” – Michael Josephson
COMMENTARY 978.3: Curing Victimitis
Watch your thoughts; they lead to attitudes. Watch your attitudes; they lead to words. Watch your words; they lead to actions. Watch your actions; they lead to habits. Watch your habits; they form your character. Watch your character; it determines your destiny. These words of unknown origin tell us that our silent and often subconscious choices shape our future. Every …
Five Things to Learn from Your Children:
“1. Everything looks better after a nap. 2. People who love you keep you safe. 3. When you’re not sure what’s happening, just giggle. 4. All you need to have fun is a good friend. 5. Learn at least one new thing every day.” – Michael Josephson
Live A Life That Matters
“In the end, what will matter is not our memories, but the memories of those we loved and those we helped. What will matter is how long we will be remembered, by whom, and for what. Live a life that matters.” – Michael Josephson
COMMENTARY 978.2: Desiderata
In 1927, Max Ehrmann gave us timeless advice in a poem called Desiderata (Latin for “things desired”): Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and …
‘Love’ is an Active Noun
“Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like ‘struggle.’ To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” – Mister Rogers
The Good Old Days
Can you imagine how stupid and unhappy people must have been before smart phone and tablets?
Loved, Not Judged
People need to be loved, not judged. Instead of putting others in their place, put yourself in their place. – Amish Proverb Be generous. Don’t ask whether a person in need deserves your help or if he will use it wisely. Charity is not an investment its an act of caring.
Can You Commit?
If you are committed to being happy, nothing can stop you.
Pretty vs. Beauty
“Pretty isn’t beauty. Pretty is how you look; Beauty is who you are. Pretty is in the face and body; Beauty is in the heart, mind and soul. Pretty fades; Beauty grows.” – Michael Josephson
COMMENTARY 978.1: The Wisdom of Dr. Seuss
Observing the recent birthday of Dr. Seuss caused me to reflect on some of the profound lessons this modern-day philosopher taught with his exotically imaginative stories. For example, whether I’m looking at my clock, my calendar, or observing how quickly my children change, he captures the surprise and wistful sadness I often feel: “How did it get so late so …
Be the Best Version of Yourself
BE HONEST – even when others aren’t and it may cost you more than you want to pay KEEP YOUR PROMISES – even when it’s costly or inconvenient TREAT EVERYONE WITH RESPECT – even if they don’t deserve it. FULFILL YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES – even if you could dodge them. DO WHAT’S RIGHT – even if you have a right to …
EXPERIENCE the Feeling
“Gratitude is not a statement, it’s a feeling. It’s so easy to say I am grateful that I don’t often stop to really, really experience gratitude. Saying the words doesn’t mean a thing without the feeling and it takes a moment of genuine reflection to summon that feeling. Don’t shortchange yourself with hollow words…EXPERIENCE THE FEELING.” – Michael Josephson
COMMENTARY 977.5: Things Are Just Things
Years ago, a listener told me her mom died leaving only a general will and a house full of personal items with sentimental and, in some cases, significant financial value. My listener said tensions were building among her and her two sisters as they approached the problem of allocating their mom’s stuff. Each sister had different and conflicting expectations. The …
Limits
“What you allow, you encourage. There are no limits unless you set them, and if there are no limits, there’s no respect.” – Michael Josephson
Compliance is doing what
WHY COMPLIANCE IS MORE AND BETTER THAN ETHICS PROGRAMS. you are required to do; ethics is about doing what you should do. An act is not ethical simply because it’s legal, nor is it proper simply because it’s permissible. In an ethical culture, people are expected to do more than ask what they have a right to do; they are expected …
COMMENTARY: Coaching for Character
I’ve spent lots of time with some of the world’s most successful coaches. I discovered that many of them think about character a lot, especially traits that are important to winning – like self-discipline, perseverance, resiliency, and courage.
Lasting Gifts to Our Children
“There are two lasting things we can give our children: one is roots the other is wings” – Hodding Carter Jr.
What It Is…and What It’s Not
“It’s not what you think; IT’S WHAT YOU DO. It’s not who you know; IT’S WHAT YOU KNOW. It’s not who you were; IT’S WHO YOU ARE. It’s not where you’re from; IT’S WHERE YOU’RE GOING. It’s not what you want; IT’S WHAT YOU WORK FOR.” – Michael Josephson
COMMENTARY 977.3: Changing Lives Through Love
Imagine being put in charge of a residential camp for delinquent teenage girls confined because they are considered dangerous. Many have serious mental health issues, impulse control problems, and an awful lot of anger. One of the last terms you’d apply to any of these girls is lovable. So when Pauline Starks and her colleague Gerry Davis (both with more …
Kids Like to Win; Adults Need to Win
Whether you’re a sports fan or not, you have to acknowledge the powerful cultural influence that sports have on our culture. The values of millions of participants and spectators are shaped by the values conveyed in sports, including our views of what is permissible and proper in the competitive pursuit of personal goals. Professional sports and even highly competitive intercollegiate …
No Storm Lasts Forever
“Okay, maybe today sucks. It’s unfair and it’s wrong. But things will get better. No storm lasts forever. So, you need to be strong.” – Michael Josephson
If You are Committed…
If you are committed to being happy, nothing can stop you.
COMMENTARY 977.2: Tell Someone They’re Valued
The students at Sandy’s high school were badly shaken by the news that a classmate had killed himself. The suicide note said, “It’s hard to live when nobody cares if you die.” Glen, a teacher, realized this was a teachable moment about the importance of making people feel valued. He asked the class to imagine they were about to die …