WORTH READING: Parents, Kids, and Discipline

[The photo is intended as humor – it is not recommended as a good parenting strategy!] Re-printed from Web-MD: How can you provide discipline to your child so that he or she can function well at home and in public? Every parent wants their children to be happy, respectful, respected by others, and able to find their place in the world …

WORTH READING: Recommended Books on Understanding and Parenting Teenagers

Why Do They Act That Way? A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen by David Walsh, Ph.D. (2004) Reviews from Amazon: “A powerful, practical book on the teenage brain. Walsh is a storyteller with the gifts of simplicity and clarity. This book is an easy read, but its message is fresh, nuanced, and important. I recommend …

COMMENTARY: Unkind Words Are Weapons 752.2

With four teenage daughters, I frequently find myself correcting, disciplining, or simply protesting unnecessary and unkind comments certain to anger or wound a sister and evoke counterattacks that fill the air with nastiness. Hoping to get them to think before they speak in the future, I often ask, “What did you expect to accomplish by that remark?” and “Did it …

COMMENTARY: A Parent’s Love for the Family Treasure 751.4

There are all kinds of love. The passionate romantic love immortalized and often fantasized by poets and novelists; Platonic love among friends, the love of humanity preached by missionaries and ministers, the love of country, and even the love of our work. I’ve been fortunate to have experienced all of these forms but none has impressed me more than the deep, enduring …

OBSERVATION: The precept ‘Judge not that ye be not judged’…is an abdication of moral responsibility. It is a moral blank check one gives to others in exchange for a moral blank check one expects for oneself. – Ayn Rand

When I graduated law school in 1967 it was popular to rail against people who made moral judgments. We called finger wagging moralists presuming to judge people and life styles as right or wrong “moral imperialists” and adopted, instead, a form of ethical relativism implying that there was no true universal right or wrong, just equally valid or invalid opinions. After all, we …

WORTH WATCHING: The Day JFK was Shot

The assassination of JFK on November 22, 1963, was a turning point for my generation. On this anniversary of this momentous event, I encourage you to take a few minutes to see coverage of this day. It is very disturbing and moves me to tears even today.

WORTH READING: Learn more on how to identify and deal with toxic relationships and emotional vampires.

Life coach Cheryl Richardson describes six types of toxic qualities in people. The Blamer: This person likes to hear his own voice. He constantly complains about what isn’t working in his life, and yet gets energy from complaining and dumping his frustrations on you. The Drainer: This is the needy person who calls to ask for your guidance, support, information, advice or …

COMMENTARY: Good Ethics Really Is Good Business 749.4

  A challenge I frequently face while consulting with senior executives and boards of directors of public companies is a belief that their primary mandate is to make profits and enhance shareholder value. Thus, ethical principles like honesty, fairness, and caring are proper guides to decision making only to the extent that they can demonstrably improve profitability or incorporated into …

COMMENTARY: Just Keep on Knocking 748.2

In the summer of my junior year in college I took a job as a door-to-door salesman for the Fuller Brush Company. My mother had just lost a long battle with cancer, and I wanted to earn enough money to have a photo of her turned into a painted portrait to give to my dad. What I earned depended entirely …

OBSERVATION: Enjoy the struggle

F. Scott Fitzgerald said that the most profoundly redeeming qualities of life are found not in moments of pure happiness or pleasure, but in the deeper satisfactions that come out of struggle. The Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard put it another way: “Life must be understood backward, but lived forward.” Thus, we need to regularly remind ourselves to learn from the …

COMMENTARY: Changing Lives 747.1

Long ago when I was a law professor, I was at a conference and a man I didn’t recognize greeted me warmly. He said he wanted to thank me for changing his life. I was embarrassed as I listened to him tell me that he had met me after a speech I had given at his law school. He said …

COMMENTARY: Let the Butterfly Struggle 746.1

There’s a parable about a new mother who discovered a butterfly struggling mightily to escape its cocoon through a tiny opening at the top. She became concerned when the creature seemed to give up after making no progress. Certain that the butterfly just wouldn’t make it out without help, she enlarged the hole slightly. On its next try, the butterfly …

If You Were Arrested for Kindness 744.4

If you were arrested for kindness, would there be enough evidence to convict you? Some people cheer up a room by entering it, others by leaving it. What do you bring to your interactions with workmates, friends, and family? Is it encouragement, optimism, or kind words? Or is it pessimism, criticism, or cynicism? People often forget what we say and …

How Good Do I Have to Be? 742.4

Years ago, Rabbi Steven Carr Reuben told the story of a little girl who learned to tie her shoes for the first time. After a moment of triumphant celebration, she got sad, almost despondent. Her mystified parents asked why she wasn’t happier. The little girl acknowledged that she was proud of her achievement, but she sobbed, “Now I’ll have to …

The Power of One 741.3

Reading about the 31-year-old “rogue trader” arrested in London for unauthorized transactions that cost the Swiss Bank UBS $2 billion caused me to think about the power of one person. I’m not talking about great heroes and villains who changed the course of history, but smaller acts by ordinary people. There are lots of angles to thinking about the power …

Moving Beyond 9/11 740.1

I’ve been enlightened and uplifted by many articles and TV specials commemorating the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. It’s important and appropriate that we pause to honor with reverence and gratitude the lives lost and mangled and the noble efforts of those who struggled mightily to rescue them. We should learn the lesson that life is fragile. We’re all …

What Did You Expect Him To Do? 738.3

One of the highlights of my life as a dad – and having five kids, I’ve had quite a few – occurred on a Saturday afternoon when I was taking my then 13-year-old son Justin and his friend Aaron to a movie. As we entered the theater, I noticed the ticket seller had undercharged me, so I asked the boys …

An Uncomfortable Moment of Truth 737.1

When my daughters were younger and wanted to spend time with me, I used to take each one on an out-of-town trip for alone time. An especially memorable one was with my youngest daughter Mataya when she was seven. We went to Philadelphia and Washington, D.C. and had a wonderful time touring and talking about American history, the Liberty Bell, …

What I Want My Daughter to Get Out of Sports 736.5

Several years ago, when my daughter Carissa was about to enter her first gymnastics competition, I wrote her a letter expressing my hopes and goals for her athletic experience. Here’s a revised version: My dearest Carissa, I know you’ve worked hard to prepare yourself to compete, and I know how much you want to win. That’s a good goal. You …

Ramadan Kareem 736.3

Ramadan Kareem. Ramadan Mubarak. Kul ‘am wa enta bi-khair! (May every year find you in good health!) Please forgive my pronunciation, but I want to respectfully offer warm wishes and greetings to my Muslim brothers and sisters during the holy month of Ramadan. To those whose entire perspective of Islam and the Qur’an is shaped by fear and hatred of …

Deal or No Deal? 736.2

Sarah’s mom agreed to let her 16-year-old go to a party if she promised to be home by midnight. But as the Cinderella hour approached, Sarah did a quick risk/reward calculation. She knew her mom would be angry and probably ground her, but she was having so much fun she decided it was worth it. Sure enough, when she got …

A Dad Sending His Daughter Off to College 736.1

I want to share a slightly edited portion of a letter my friend Scott Raecker wrote to his daughter Emily on sending her off to college: My Dear Emily, My life changed the day we found out that you were on your way. From that moment forward, you have been on my mind and heart – every day. I vividly …

The Value of Trust 735.2

A teenager wants to go to a party, but she’s sure her mom won’t let her. So she and her friend concoct a false cover story. What’s the big deal? Most kids lie to their parents from time to time, and their parents probably lied to their parents. Despite rhetoric about virtue being its own reward, a great many adults …

Authentic Apologies 734.2

“I’m sorry.” These are powerful words. Authentic apologies can work like a healing ointment on old wounds, dissolve bitter grudges, and repair damaged relationships. They encourage both parties to let go of toxic emotions like anger and guilt and provide a fresh foundation of mutual respect. But authentic apologies involve much more than words expressing sorrow; they require accountability, remorse, …