Todd was a sadly quiet eleven-year-old struggling to adjust to the death of his mother. His father left long ago and he was living with an aunt who made it known that she resented the responsibility. On several occasions, Sheryl, the boy’s teacher, heard the aunt tell Todd, “If it weren’t for my generosity you would be a homeless orphan.” …
COMMENTARY 778.5: Learning From Pigeons
During an experiment, pigeons were put in cages with one green and one red button. In one cage, if the birds pecked the green button they would get food every time. In the other, the green button yielded food erratically and the pigeons had to persist to get enough food. In both cases, pecking the red button did nothing. Both …
COMMENTARY 776.5: Coaching for Character
I’ve spent lots of time with some of the world’s most successful coaches. I discovered that many of them think about character a lot, especially traits that are important to winning – like self-discipline, perseverance, resiliency, and courage. They pay less attention to virtues like honesty, integrity, responsibility, compassion, respect, and fairness – aspects of character that make a good …
QUOTATION: What It Takes to Become an Olympian. Some 2,000-Year-Old Advice
“So you wish to conquer in the Olympic games, my friend? And I too, by the Gods, and a fine thing it would be! But first mark the conditions and the consequences, and then set to work. You will have to put yourself under discipline; to eat by rule, to avoid cakes and sweetmeats; to take exercise at the appointed …
OBSERVATION: If you plan on getting better, plan on making mistakes
Making mistakes is an important part of learning for everyone in every setting, but it has special significance in youth sports because children are easily embarrassed and discouraged, especially if they make mistakes in front of other kids.
WORTH READING: The Moral Dimension of Sports: Guiding Principles for Athletic Competition
The Arizona Sports Summit Accord is the basis for the Josephson Institute’s Pursuing Victory With Honor program. It’s an inspiring document, worth re-reading from time to time. The full text is below, and can also be found on our website. On May 25, 1999, nearly 50 influential leaders in sports issued the Arizona Sports Summit Accord to encourage greater emphasis …
COMMENTARY 776.2: Eighteen Random Life Rules
I love maxims, those concise capsules of worldly wisdom. I collect them and write them and, of course, love to share them. Here are 18 random rules of life worth posting on your mirror or, better yet, using as dinner-time discussion starters. Find the lesson in every failure and you’ll never fail. The likelihood that you’re right is not increased …
COMMENTARY 775.2: Getting Started
Chris’s parents were proud of him when he graduated from college. But it’s been six months and he hasn’t gotten a job yet. In fact, he hasn’t looked seriously. He has no idea what he wants to do and he’s thinking of grad school. He’s living at home with his parents and things are getting tense, especially with his father, …
COMMENTARY 775.1: Mothers — Saints or Scapegoats?
What class of people has been more glorified or vilified than Mothers? On the one hand, we are frequently confronted with an idealized image of the sainted, angel mother, often with white hair and hands callused from work. She is the embodiment of the most beneficent human qualities: nurturing, loving, devoted and wise. And she is the favorite subject of …
COMMENTARY 773.5 & STTA #6: The Master Carpenter and His Crumbling Integrity
Hi, this is Michael Josephson with something to think about. Joe was a master carpenter who worked for Martin, a very successful builder of fine homes for 40 years. When he told Martin he wanted to retire, Martin thanked him graciously and gave him a $10,000 check for Joe’s years of service. Martin owned a magnificent lot with a spectacular …
WORTH READING: Ten Tips for Giving Constructive Feedback in the Workplace by Dr. Barton Goldsmith
10 Tips for Delivering (Constructive) Criticism by By Dr. Barton Goldsmith for Bankers Online Take an honest look at where you’re coming from. If there’s some anger or resentment toward the team member, then you’re probably not the best person to offer them advice. Start and end with a compliment. Find something good to say about your team member, this will help him …
COMMENTARY 773.2 & SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT #5: Will, Fern, and the Power of Encouragement
Two frogs named Will and Fern fell into a deep pit together. At first, they thought it would be easy to jump out. But after lots of failed attempts they cried for help and a crowd of animals gathered around the pit. Everyone agreed it was hopeless so they urged Will and Fern to accept their fate. The harder the …
COMMENTARY 773.1: Good Ethics Make Better Relationships
While I believe that good things tend to happen to people who consistently choose the high road, the correlation between ethics and success is a loose one at best. Thus, it’s pretty hard to sincerely promote ethics by appeals to self-interest. What’s more, when self-interest is the controlling justification for moral behavior, moral reasoning is replaced by a pragmatic cost-benefit …
COMMENTARY 771.4: The Responsibility to Decide
Frank is a new supervisor who wants to do well. Maria consistently comes in late. When he confronts her, she makes a joke out of it. Hoping to win friendship and loyalty, Frank is painfully patient with her, but Pat, a conscientious employee, urges him to do more. Soon others begin to come in late, and Pat quits. Frank feels …
WORTH READING & SEEING: “Stand Tall,” a song encouraging bullied victims to have strength
Here’s a comment by the performer, Lauren Irwin, from her website: “At many points in my life I found myself thinking I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t smart enough, thin enough, fat enough, tall enough, pretty enough, quirky enough, blonde enough … the list goes on. I’m a pretty positive person, although it might not sound like it, but I …
Don’t Miss This One! OBSERVATION & WORTH SEEING: Out of the Closet. I know many of the people who follow my work have a deeply grounded religious belief that homosexuality is a sin. Many fortify their convictions by believing that God would not make any child homosexual and, therefore, that it is a choice to be gay or lesbian. Whether you fall into this group or simply want to better understand the human dimension of this aspect of the bullying problem, please take the time to watch the videos included here. It could change your perspective, maybe even your life.
First, a preface: Young people are harassed, humiliated, and intimidated at school for all sorts of reasons – their looks, the way they talk, their race, and more — but students who are or are perceived to be gay are subjected to the most persistent and pernicious forms of bullying. This has led to more suicides than any other cause …
COMMENTARY 769.5: Sharpen Your Ax
Ben was a new lumberjack who swung his ax with great power. He could fell a tree in 20 strokes, and in the first few days he produced twice as much lumber as anyone else. By week’s end, he was working even harder, but his lead was dwindling. One friend told him he had to swing harder. Another said he …
COMMENTARY 769.1: R-E-S-P-E-C-T
R- E- S- P- E- C- T – Aretha Franklin reminded us how it’s spelled, but a lot of us need coaching on how to show it. In both personal and political relationships, the failure to treat each other with respect is generating incivility, contempt, and violence. There’s an important distinction between respecting a person in the sense that we …
QUOTE: “Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” — Bernard Baruch
[We are glad you visited us to find out the story on this well known quote. The Josephson Institute is a nonprofit organization devoted to increasing the ethical quality of individual and personal decision making. I hope you’ll browse our other entries and subscribe to our What Will Matter blog at www.whatwillmatter.com (it’s free) and/or our What Will Matter Facebook https://www.facebook.com/WhatWillMatter?ref=hl. …
COMMENTARY 768.5: If You’re in a Hole, Stop Digging.
Most of us have lied to get out of trouble. From childhood denials (“It wasn’t me!”) to adult fabrications (“The check is in the mail…”), what seem like harmless falsehoods easily fall from our tongues. And then we make up more excuses or tell more lies to protect the first one. Soon the “cover-up” is more serious and credibility-damaging than …
COMMENTARY 768.3: Shaping Values, Shaping Lives
Blessed with the opportunities and burdened with the aggravations of raising four teenage daughters , my wife Anne and I are profoundly aware of the importance of instilling good values and decision-making skills to help them be safe, successful, happy, and good. I think we’re doing a good job, but we know that isn’t enough. We worry about the values …
COMMENTARY 768.2: Rebuilding Your Life and Your Reputation
Larry wrote me the following letter: “I’ve been a small businessman for almost 23 years in a business where people lie, cheat, and steal. I’m sorry to say I became one of them. In the short term it may have helped, but long term it came back to haunt me. There’s no amount of success that’s worth it. I am …
QUOTES: The Best Wise and Witty Quotes about Children and Parenting
We are glad you visited us to find this selection of quotes on a topic that means so much to me – children and parenting. The Josephson Institute is a nonprofit organization devoted to increasing the ethical quality of individual and personal decision making. I hope you’ll browse our other entries and subscribe to our What Will Matter blog at …
WORTH READING: When Dealing With Teens, Try More Silence
Giving Your Teen the Silent Treatment By Patrick C. Friman, Ph.D., ABPP, Boys Town (This article is part of a parenting.org series for parents of adolescents.) It takes two to tango. You cannot have a tug of war without people pulling on both ends of the rope. And, an argument between a parent and a teenager requires both participants to vocally …
COMMENTARY 767.4: Careful — Your Children May Be Watching
Matt, an eighth grade teacher, was in a huge hurry. With guests arriving at his home shortly, he had a small list of things to buy. With 14 items in his basket, he decided to chance it and use the “10 items or less” express line. Matt’s heart pounded when he saw Phil, one of his students, come toward him. …
Guest Post: Black & White by Barbara Gruener
Editor’s note: Today we bring you a guest post from school counselor and friend of CHARACTER COUNTS! Barbara Gruener. You can keep up with Barbara’s thoughts on character and education at her blog, The Corner on Character. I grew up in a black-and-white world (literally), surrounded by Holstein cows, on our family farm. The motto on the sign in front …
COMMENTARY 767.2: Teaching Our Children To Be Better Than Us
Do parents have moral standing to impose standards on their children that they themselves did not follow when they were kids? Is it ever ethical for parents to lie to a child about their youthful experiences? These are important questions because it’s a parent’s duty to teach, enforce, advocate, and model good behavior for their kids. Sure, it’d be easier …