COMMENTARY 762.1: Self-Control

A frazzled mother with a fussy child caught the eye of a grocery store manager. He overheard her say, “Lily, you can do this. We just have to get a few things.” Moments later, when the child became more upset, the mother said calmly, “It’s okay, Lily. We’re almost done.”

COMMENTARY: Cheerfulness: A Conscious Act of Kindness 761.5

My mother died of cancer when I was 18. The disease was detected a year earlier during her pregnancy with her sixth child. On the day she delivered, both breasts were removed. During her illness, our household became increasingly gloomy. It’s hard to watch someone you love get sicker and sicker. But my mom was always a pleasure to be …

COMMENTARY: Teach Or Punish, That Is the Question 761.4

As Greg paces the floor, waiting for his 17-year-old daughter Sandy to return from a school event, he feels two conflicting emotions: fear and anger. Fear that something terrible has happened to her. Anger because he thinks his fear is probably unfounded and Sandy is not hurt, simply irresponsible. Finally, Sandy calls. She’s all right. She just lost track of …

COMMENTARY: The Greyhound Principle: Stretch Goals in Business 761.1

A common management strategy to spur achievement is to set aggressive performance objectives that, like the mechanical rabbits that pace racing greyhounds, push employees to maximum effort. Using “stretch goals” can be successful, but unreasonably high performance goals often spawn dishonesty and irresponsibility. Believing that “it’s a matter of survival,” a disturbing number of employees conclude that distortion, deception, and even …

COMMENTARY: Surviving Grief and Tragedy – The Spark Within 760.4

Here’s the bad news: Virtue isn’t a golden ticket to a pain-free life. Bad things happen to good people as often as they happen to bad people. It seems unfair, but in the natural order of the world, suffering is random. To expect otherwise is to sentence oneself to despondency, disillusionment, bitterness, and anger. Here’s the good news: The magic power that …

COMMENTARY 760.3 DO BAD PEOPLE THINK THEY ARE GOOD?

When she was six, my daughter Carissa asked, “Do dumb people think they’re smart?” Answering her own question, she added, “They probably do because they’re dumb.” This made me think: “Do bad people think they’re good?” I wouldn’t be surprised if most do. In fact, I think all of us are ethical in our own eyes. The human tendency to rationalize, to …

COMMENTARY 759.5: Ten Truths for the Person in Charge

Based on years of managing several organizations, including the Josephson Institute of Ethics, and on extensive consultation with large and small organizations, I’ve distilled much of what I believe and advocate into “Ten Truths.” I hope you find this list helpful. Feel free to share it with colleagues and friends. (Or print this mini-poster version of the list.) Everyone rationalizes; including you. (We’re all …

COMMENTARY: Hurrah for Hollywood! This Year’s Crop is Rich in Films that Inform, Move and Inspire 759.3

I know I’m out of my depth as a movie critic, but I am venturing into this new territory because there’s so much criticism about Hollywood that we don’t always give ample credit for the substantial number of truly wonderful movies that teach, move, and inspire, as well as entertain. And from my narrow perspective as an ethicist, I am grateful …

COMMENTARY: Good Ethics is More Than Good Business 759.2

Ethics is a popular topic at corporate meetings today because managers correctly see the benefits. Good things tend to happen to companies that consistently do the right thing, and bad things tend to happen to those that even occasionally do the wrong thing. Being ethical is playing the odds. Ethical companies have a competitive edge because people prefer to deal …

COMMENTARY: How to Change Attitudes and Behavior — “I Can Do It and It’s Worth It.” 758.6

In yesterday’s commentary, I talked about a teacher named Shavonne who was at wits end with several students, including Leon, whose lack of self-control when he became angry or frustrated constantly created trouble.  She was certain that nothing short of intense therapy could change his behavior. Changing Leon’s behavior will be a challenge, but it has to start with changing …

COMMENTARY 758.4 CHANGING THE WORLD ONE BITE AT A TIME

About twenty-five years ago, I founded the Joseph & Edna Josephson Institute of Ethics in honor of my parents because I wanted to change the world for the better. My goal and strategy to achieve change is captured in a short mission statement: “To improve the ethical quality of society by changing personal and organizational decision making and behavior.” I …

COMMENTARY: Making Good Decisions 757.4

More often than we like, most of us are faced with choices that can have serious and lasting impact on our lives. Do we go along with the crowd? Do we tell someone off, quit a job, end a relationship? Unfortunately, these decisions are not preceded by a drumroll warning us that the stakes are high and, even worse, we …

COMMENTARY: True Friends 757.3

So what are the qualities of a true friend? True friends are good companions, people you enjoy doing things with, but they are also people you just enjoy being with. In true friendships the activity is incidental – it doesn’t matter much what you are doing together as long as you are together. True friends are people you want to …

COMMENTARY: The Treasure of Old Friends 757.2

In my lifetime, I’ve had the good fortune of having a handful of good friends. Each of my four teenage daughters have many hundreds. At least that what they call every Facebook connection they collect like trophies. The list of those kinds of friends includes people they barely know, some they don’t know at all and even some people they …

COMMENTARY: Stars Above and Stars Within 756.4

According to an article in The Wall Street Journal, two-thirds of the world’s population, including almost everyone in the continental United States and Europe, no longer see a starry sky where they live. The reason: City lights prevent us from seeing much more than a canopy of gray shadows. What a pity. In rural or remote areas with little or …

COMMENTARY: Enough Is Enough

What does it take to make you happy? How much do you have to have to be grateful? To the barefoot man, happiness is a pair of shoes.  To the man with old shoes, it’s a pair of new shoes. To the man with new shoes, it’s more stylish shoes.  And of course, the fellow with no feet — he’d …

COMMENTARY: Good Memories — The Gift That Keeps On Giving 755.1

When giving gifts or spending your own money, remember that experiences create deeper and longer lasting pleasure than any object you can buy. In a world preoccupied with the quest for material possessions, it’s easy to overlook the fact that the most valuable things we own are our best memories. Good memories are the gift that keeps on giving. They …

COMMENTARY: ‘Tis the Season to be Jolly — Even While Shopping 754.4

People are not at their best in crowds. It’s as if every survival-of-the-fittest primordial instinct comes out to obliterate thousands of years of civilization. Pre-and post-holiday shopping, and the inevitable lines, test our character. My wife’s a professional shopper. She has strategies on where to park and how to find the fastest moving line (which I’ve discovered is not always …