I realize that not everyone lives in a Norman Rockwell world where family gatherings are sources of warmth and good memories. For some, the prospect of holiday get-togethers generates dread and anxiety; they are something to endure, not enjoy. One reason is that family members can be tactless and downright cruel when expressing their opinions about perceived foibles, flaws and …
COMMENTARY: FAILING FORWARD: Turning Stumbling Blocks into Stepping Stones 754.1
The best way to teach our children to succeed is to teach them to fail. After all, if getting everything you want on the first try is success, and everything else is failure, we all fail much more often than we succeed. People who learn how to grow from unsuccessful efforts succeed more often and at higher levels because they …
COMMENTARY: The Master Carpenter – A Parable About Integrity 752.5
A master carpenter who worked for the same builder for nearly 50 years announced that he wanted to retire. The builder told him how much he appreciated his work. He gave the carpenter a $5,000 bonus and asked him if he would build just one more house. The builder owned a magnificent lot with a spectacular view and he wanted …
COMMENTARY: Money is the Icing, Not the Cake
Despite the advice of preachers and philosophers warning us of the shortcomings of money, it’s hard to argue with Gertrude Stein’s observation: “I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor. Rich is better.”
COMMENTARY: Are Cynics Right? Is Lying Really Necessary? 752.3
What do you think? In today’s society, does a person have to lie or cheat at least occasionally to succeed? The question isn’t whether occasional liars and cheats sometimes get away with dishonesty; we all have to agree with this. The question is whether you believe people can succeed if they are not willing to lie or cheat. Those who …
COMMENTARY: Unkind Words Are Weapons 752.2
With four teenage daughters, I frequently find myself correcting, disciplining, or simply protesting unnecessary and unkind comments certain to anger or wound a sister and evoke counterattacks that fill the air with nastiness. Hoping to get them to think before they speak in the future, I often ask, “What did you expect to accomplish by that remark?” and “Did it …
COMMENTARY: Birds on a Wire: Actions are More Important Than Intentions
Five birds are sitting on a telephone wire. Two of them decide to fly South. How many are left? Three, you say? No, it’s five. You see, deciding to fly South is not the same as doing it. If a bird really wants to go somewhere, it’s got to point itself in the right direction, jump off the wire and flap its …
COMMENTARY: A Parent’s Love for the Family Treasure 751.4
There are all kinds of love. The passionate romantic love immortalized and often fantasized by poets and novelists; Platonic love among friends, the love of humanity preached by missionaries and ministers, the love of country, and even the love of our work. I’ve been fortunate to have experienced all of these forms but none has impressed me more than the deep, enduring …
COMMENTARY: Moral Courage – The Engine of Integrity 751.3
Mignon McLaughlin tells us, “People are made of flesh and blood and a miracle fiber called courage.” Courage comes in two forms: physical courage and moral courage. Physical courage is demonstrated by acts of bravery where personal harm is risked to protect others or preserve cherished principles. It’s the kind of courage that wins medals and monuments.Moral courage may seem less …
COMMENTARY 751.2: What Is Character?
Here’s a riddle: You can hardly ever find it anymore — especially in politics or business. Lots of schools don’t teach it anymore. We want more of it in our children and in all the adults who interact with them. We want it from our bosses and the people who fix our cars. And most of us believe we have …
COMMENTARY: Who Am I to Judge? – The Ethics of Moral Judgments 751.1
Almost every week someone indignantly attacks my integrity because I offended them with a real or perceived opinion they didn’t like. The underlying assumption is that stating an opinion on any controversial matter violates the sacred duty of neutrality. First, I’m a teacher and a commentator, not a judge or journalist. Although I strive mightily to be objective, I don’t …
COMMENTARY: A Personal Note from Michael Josephson
Dear Reader and Friend, I hope it’s not presumptuous to address you as “Friend,” but I’ve shared with you so many of my deepest thoughts — including my recent sense of loss and uncertainty when the radio station KNX in Los Angeles cancelled the Character Counts broadcasts — that I feel a genuine intimacy with you. I’ll turn 69 in a …
COMMENTARY: Give Yourself the Gift of Gratitude 750.5
For some, Thanksgiving is the beginning of a holiday season filled with joy and happiness at the prospect of spending time with family. For others, it’s a sadder time blemished by bad memories or dread. Some people see their lives filled with abundant blessings and find thankfulness easy and natural; others are so pre-occupied with tending to past wounds or …
COMMENTARY: I Always Have a Happy Thanksgiving 750.4
Thanksgiving is my holiday. I have nine brothers and sisters and a tradition evolved where one of us regularly hosts the family gathering at specific major holidays. Ever since my dad passed away, I became the impresario of our Thanksgiving gala, an event held in a rented tent in the backyard filled with 30-60 relatives and friends. Another part of …
COMMENTARY: Dealing With Toxic Relationships 750.2
Are there people in your life who regularly cause you to feel bad about yourself? Most of us care what others think of us, so knowing that someone doesn’t like us, or doesn’t approve of the judgments we’ve made, or doesn’t like how we look can be hurtful. And when we’re judged by someone whose approval we crave, such as a parent, …
COMMENTARY: Making Lives
A few years ago I came across a video by a very dynamic speaker, a former middle school teacher named Taylor Mali. He is now what’s called a performance poet — someone who delivers poetry as singers deliver songs. The poem that caught my attention was “What Do I Make?” an articulate and aggressive response to a critic who was putting down teachers. …
COMMENTARY: Good Ethics Really Is Good Business 749.4
A challenge I frequently face while consulting with senior executives and boards of directors of public companies is a belief that their primary mandate is to make profits and enhance shareholder value. Thus, ethical principles like honesty, fairness, and caring are proper guides to decision making only to the extent that they can demonstrably improve profitability or incorporated into …
COMMENTARY: Courtesy is Kindness in Action 749.3
As a society, we have become almost obsessed with identifying and asserting our rights – to think, say, and do what we want. That’s not surprising, given the history of our country and the prominent role the Constitution and Bill of Rights have played in shaping our culture. We have a right to be unkind, thoughtless, and disrespectful – but …
COMMENTARY: Ask What Can You Do for Your Country
In 1961, President John F. Kennedy, invoked my generation to “Ask not what your country can do for you — ask what you can do for your country.” We are fortunate to live in a free and democratic society where millions of civilians and soldiers serve their fellow citizens. Last Friday was Veteran’s Day and the weekend provided the nation …
COMMENTARY: What Your Checkbook and Calendar Say About Your Values 749.1
If I wanted to check your credit worthiness, I’d look at your balance sheet – what you have and what you owe – and I’d want to know about your history of paying your debts. If I wanted to know your values, I’d look at your calendar and checkbook. How come? Well, the term “values” refers
COMMENTARY: Sorry, Joe, You Have to Go 748.5
At the risk of losing my credibility, I have to retract my previous commentary, “Say It Ain’t So, Joe,” in which I urged readers to be generous in assessing the moral culpability of Penn State Coach Joe Paterno in relation to an undeniably horrendous situation involving the sexual abuse of children by former coach Jerry Sandusky. This change of position …
The Commentary Essay Contest: We Need Your Help to Choose the Winners!
Earlier this fall, Michael Josephson announced a special contest. To mark the end of his 14 years of daily commentaries on KNX-AM1070 radio in Los Angeles, he invited listeners to write short essays on how his radio commentaries had make a positive impact on their lives. The five winners will enjoy a private luncheon with Michael. We received more than …
COMMENTARY: “Say it Ain’t So, Joe” 748.4
“Say it ain’t so, Joe” These words, directed at Shoeless Joe Jackson as he emerged from a courthouse where he and seven other White Sox players were accused of taking bribes to manipulate games, expressed the profound sense of betrayal and disappointment suffered when an idol falls from grace. Though Jackson, one of the finest players of his era, claimed …
COMMENTARY: Favorite Quips 748.3
As a break from heavy thoughts about heavy matters, I’d like to share with you a list of some of my favorite quips collected over the years. I don’t know the original sources of these one-liners, but they definitely weren’t from me. 1) If women can have PMS, then men can have ESPN. 2) If quitters never win and
COMMENTARY: Just Keep on Knocking 748.2
In the summer of my junior year in college I took a job as a door-to-door salesman for the Fuller Brush Company. My mother had just lost a long battle with cancer, and I wanted to earn enough money to have a photo of her turned into a painted portrait to give to my dad. What I earned depended entirely …
COMMENTARY: The Cowboy Code 748.1
I grew up in much simpler times. Television was in its infancy and the idea of a hero was exemplified by a white-hatted cowboy. There was a clarity and simplicity to the moral code of these heroes that left no doubt that there is a right and wrong. As I became more sophisticated, it was easy to ridicule these simplistic …
COMMENTARY: The Truth About Trust
Everyone seems to understand the importance of trust. No one seems to doubt the vital role that it plays in personal relationships, business, and politics. We want to trust the people in our lives and we want them to trust us.
COMMENTARY: The Cookie Thief 747.2
There’s a nice poem circulating on the Internet about a woman who bought some cookies and a book at an airport and sat down to read and nibble while waiting for her plane. She soon noticed a man sitting next to her, who casually took a cookie from the bag. Although shocked and seething, the woman remained silent as the …
COMMENTARY: Changing Lives 747.1
Long ago when I was a law professor, I was at a conference and a man I didn’t recognize greeted me warmly. He said he wanted to thank me for changing his life. I was embarrassed as I listened to him tell me that he had met me after a speech I had given at his law school. He said …
COMMENTARY: We Are What We Think 746.4
In the early 1900s, a little-known philosopher named James Allen wrote a powerful essay called “As a Man Thinketh” in which he argued that we are what we think, that a person’s character is the sum of his thoughts. He declared that the power to control our thoughts (whether we use that power or not) is the ability to mold …