There are lots of resources dealing with bullying. Here are some especially useful ones.Are your kids at risk? Three online surveys to determine whether one’s child is being bullied, whether one’s child is a bully, and whether parents are doing all they can to prevent bullying, can be found at CHARACTER COUNTS!’s Bully Quiz. Also, check out these other anti-bullying resources …
OBSERVATION: According to a 2010 study by the Josephson Institute of Ethics, half of all high school students admit they bullied someone in the past year, and nearly as many, 47 percent, say they were bullied, teased, or taunted in a way that seriously upset them in the past year. That’s an awful lot of kids who are inflicting and suffering serious emotional injuries, some so serious as to cause deep depression and even suicide.
Read the Josephson Institute’s 2010 study here. At the root of all this misery is the willingness of our sons and daughters to say and do mean and awful things that humiliate, embarrass, intimidate, or degrade others. Most of the perpetrators of all this pain are not brutish thugs with severe self-esteem issues. Many are intelligent, highly confident teens good at …
COMMENTARY: Stars Above and Stars Within 756.4
According to an article in The Wall Street Journal, two-thirds of the world’s population, including almost everyone in the continental United States and Europe, no longer see a starry sky where they live. The reason: City lights prevent us from seeing much more than a canopy of gray shadows. What a pity. In rural or remote areas with little or …
QUOTE: How true Daddy’s words were when he said: all children must look after their own upbringing. Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands. — Anne Frank
A similar thought: “Let us not say, Every man is the architect of his own fortune; but let us say, Every man is the architect of his own character.” — George Dana Boardman
OBSERVATION: Scientific evidence and personal experience teach us that approaching each daily task and our lives in general with a positive attitude (optimism, enthusiasm, confidence) significantly increases actual success and enhances personal happiness. Yet many of us stifle our careers and pollute our personal relationships by persistent negativity. Just as losing weight and keeping it off is really hard, so is losing self-defeating attitudes and staying positive — but it’s doable and worth it. The strategy: self-consciously cultivate optimism.
Here are some suggestions to help you more consistently reap the benefits of positivity.
WORTH SEEING: Reading and learning expands your mind and heart by making you wiser and more compassionate. See these beautiful paintings depicting people enjoying the gift of reading.
Here are some beautiful paintings depicting men and women expanding their lives though reading.
COMMENTARY: Good Memories — The Gift That Keeps On Giving 755.1
When giving gifts or spending your own money, remember that experiences create deeper and longer lasting pleasure than any object you can buy. In a world preoccupied with the quest for material possessions, it’s easy to overlook the fact that the most valuable things we own are our best memories. Good memories are the gift that keeps on giving. They …
OBSERVATION: I assume some people find Christmas shopping a joyful experience, though the fact that I couldn’t find a good article or video proclaiming this position has made me wonder.
There are plenty of articles about the stress of shopping, and I’ve heard plenty of complaints that the burden of shopping for people who have everything has made the experience anxiety-producing. Then, of course, is the question of who outside your immediate family you need to buy gifts for and how much you need to spend. Finally, the whole issue …
COMMENTARY: Surviving Critical Relatives at Family Gatherings 754.3
I realize that not everyone lives in a Norman Rockwell world where family gatherings are sources of warmth and good memories. For some, the prospect of holiday get-togethers generates dread and anxiety; they are something to endure, not enjoy. One reason is that family members can be tactless and downright cruel when expressing their opinions about perceived foibles, flaws and …
WORTH READING: How to Deal With Critical Family Members
4 Ways to Disarm Critical Family Members Re-posted from Recovery Help Now by Vanessa Blaxland, MFTi. We all have them. You know, that one family member that always has something negative to say about how you did this or that, or why are you this or that way. I’m sure just thinking right now about how this person gets under …
WORTH READING: Parents, Kids, and Discipline
[The photo is intended as humor – it is not recommended as a good parenting strategy!] Re-printed from Web-MD: How can you provide discipline to your child so that he or she can function well at home and in public? Every parent wants their children to be happy, respectful, respected by others, and able to find their place in the world …
WORTH READING: What You Should Know About Behavior Modification
What is Behavior Modification and Can it Help My Family? Re-printed from BetterParenting.com By Chris Oldenburg You might have heard the term listening to a self-help parenting CD, or watching an interview with parenting experts: behavior modification. But, how can behavior modification help you as a parent if you don’t really know what it is? It might be used as …
WORTH READING: Recommended Books on Understanding and Parenting Teenagers
Why Do They Act That Way? A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen by David Walsh, Ph.D. (2004) Reviews from Amazon: “A powerful, practical book on the teenage brain. Walsh is a storyteller with the gifts of simplicity and clarity. This book is an easy read, but its message is fresh, nuanced, and important. I recommend …
WORTH WATCHING: “What’s the Matter With Kids Today?” from Bye, Bye Birdie (1960)
Lyrics: Kids! I don’t know what’s wrong with these kids today! Kids! Who can understand anything they say? Kids! They are so ridiculous and immature! I don’t see why anybody wants ’em! Just you wait and see
OBSERVATION: Changing the World
“When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. When I found I couldn’t change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn’t change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family. Now, …
COMMENTARY: Unkind Words Are Weapons 752.2
With four teenage daughters, I frequently find myself correcting, disciplining, or simply protesting unnecessary and unkind comments certain to anger or wound a sister and evoke counterattacks that fill the air with nastiness. Hoping to get them to think before they speak in the future, I often ask, “What did you expect to accomplish by that remark?” and “Did it …
COMMENTARY: Birds on a Wire: Actions are More Important Than Intentions
Five birds are sitting on a telephone wire. Two of them decide to fly South. How many are left? Three, you say? No, it’s five. You see, deciding to fly South is not the same as doing it. If a bird really wants to go somewhere, it’s got to point itself in the right direction, jump off the wire and flap its …
OBSERVATION: When someone you love takes a different road.
People take different roads in pursuit of their happiness. They are not wrong, foolish or lost simply because it’s not the road you would have taken. Once a decision is made, your doubts and disapproval
CONGRATULATIONS! Announcing the Winners of the 2011 Commentary Essay Contest!
In the fall of 2011, the Josephson Institute of Ethics created a special contest to celebrate the end of Michael Josephson’s extraordinary run of more than 14 years on KNX-AM1070 radio in Los Angeles. Listeners and newsletter readers were invited to write short essays on how his radio commentaries had make a positive impact on their lives. The prize: the …
COMMENTARY: A Parent’s Love for the Family Treasure 751.4
There are all kinds of love. The passionate romantic love immortalized and often fantasized by poets and novelists; Platonic love among friends, the love of humanity preached by missionaries and ministers, the love of country, and even the love of our work. I’ve been fortunate to have experienced all of these forms but none has impressed me more than the deep, enduring …
COMMENTARY: Moral Courage – The Engine of Integrity 751.3
Mignon McLaughlin tells us, “People are made of flesh and blood and a miracle fiber called courage.” Courage comes in two forms: physical courage and moral courage. Physical courage is demonstrated by acts of bravery where personal harm is risked to protect others or preserve cherished principles. It’s the kind of courage that wins medals and monuments.Moral courage may seem less …
WORTH WATCHING: “You’re better than that.” Rocky Balboa talks to his son about courage.
The video clip is not able to be embedded in this post, but you can watch it here.
COMMENTARY 751.2: What Is Character?
Here’s a riddle: You can hardly ever find it anymore — especially in politics or business. Lots of schools don’t teach it anymore. We want more of it in our children and in all the adults who interact with them. We want it from our bosses and the people who fix our cars. And most of us believe we have …
COMMENTARY: Who Am I to Judge? – The Ethics of Moral Judgments 751.1
Almost every week someone indignantly attacks my integrity because I offended them with a real or perceived opinion they didn’t like. The underlying assumption is that stating an opinion on any controversial matter violates the sacred duty of neutrality. First, I’m a teacher and a commentator, not a judge or journalist. Although I strive mightily to be objective, I don’t …
OBSERVATION: The precept ‘Judge not that ye be not judged’…is an abdication of moral responsibility. It is a moral blank check one gives to others in exchange for a moral blank check one expects for oneself. – Ayn Rand
When I graduated law school in 1967 it was popular to rail against people who made moral judgments. We called finger wagging moralists presuming to judge people and life styles as right or wrong “moral imperialists” and adopted, instead, a form of ethical relativism implying that there was no true universal right or wrong, just equally valid or invalid opinions. After all, we …
COMMENTARY: Give Yourself the Gift of Gratitude 750.5
For some, Thanksgiving is the beginning of a holiday season filled with joy and happiness at the prospect of spending time with family. For others, it’s a sadder time blemished by bad memories or dread. Some people see their lives filled with abundant blessings and find thankfulness easy and natural; others are so pre-occupied with tending to past wounds or …
COMMENTARY: I Always Have a Happy Thanksgiving 750.4
Thanksgiving is my holiday. I have nine brothers and sisters and a tradition evolved where one of us regularly hosts the family gathering at specific major holidays. Ever since my dad passed away, I became the impresario of our Thanksgiving gala, an event held in a rented tent in the backyard filled with 30-60 relatives and friends. Another part of …