WORTH READING: Recommended Books on Understanding and Parenting Teenagers

Why Do They Act That Way? A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen by David Walsh, Ph.D. (2004) Reviews from Amazon: “A powerful, practical book on the teenage brain. Walsh is a storyteller with the gifts of simplicity and clarity. This book is an easy read, but its message is fresh, nuanced, and important. I recommend …

COMMENTARY: Who Am I to Judge? – The Ethics of Moral Judgments 751.1

Almost every week someone indignantly attacks my integrity because I offended them with a real or perceived opinion they didn’t like. The underlying assumption is that stating an opinion on any controversial matter violates the sacred duty of neutrality. First, I’m a teacher and a commentator, not a judge or journalist. Although I strive mightily to be objective, I don’t …

OBSERVATION: The precept ‘Judge not that ye be not judged’…is an abdication of moral responsibility. It is a moral blank check one gives to others in exchange for a moral blank check one expects for oneself. – Ayn Rand

When I graduated law school in 1967 it was popular to rail against people who made moral judgments. We called finger wagging moralists presuming to judge people and life styles as right or wrong “moral imperialists” and adopted, instead, a form of ethical relativism implying that there was no true universal right or wrong, just equally valid or invalid opinions. After all, we …

WORTH READING: A “Thank you, Dad” poem

Thank You, Dad for always being there for being strong yet showing you cared. For being my protector and setting the rules for the rides, the money, and the help with school. For all the times I was grounded for my own good I may not have been happy, but I always understood that I am lucky to be one …

COMMENTARY: Just Keep on Knocking 748.2

In the summer of my junior year in college I took a job as a door-to-door salesman for the Fuller Brush Company. My mother had just lost a long battle with cancer, and I wanted to earn enough money to have a photo of her turned into a painted portrait to give to my dad. What I earned depended entirely …

COMMENTARY: Save the World, Daddy 746.3

Just before leaving for Nigeria I called my daughter Samara, a college freshman at NYU, to say good bye. After a short but pleasant conversation she closed with: “Save the world, daddy. I love you.” I suspect her remark was affectionate teasing, implying that her nearly 69 year old father is a sort of Don Quixote, jousting with wind mills …

The Last KNX Broadcast 745.1

Every weekday for 745 weeks I’ve had the pleasure and privilege of sharing my thoughts from this great radio platform at KNX-1070. During that time, my life changed dramatically.

Converting Pessimists into Optimists 743.3

Every full life has its bright days and its dark days, its triumphs and defeats, its calm and stormy seas. All these high and low experiences could justify viewing the past through the lens of gratitude or disappointment. And the way we characterize our history will determine whether we look toward our future with hopeful expectations or anxious trepidation. Scientists …

Are You the Father Your Child Deserves? 740.3

Listening to 9/11 survivors re-live the horrendous event that shattered their lives should remind us all to treat every day as a gift, and to treasure every opportunity to give or receive love. This is especially true for parents. A favorite story is about a 10-year-old boy who was told by his father not to expect him to go to …

This Is My Dad, Sam Burke 739.4

Ann’s father, Sam Burke, was in the last stages of cancer, and his needs had gone beyond what she could provide at home. She was distraught at the thought of placing him in a convalescent home. The check-in process confirmed her worst fears. Administrators, nurses, and doctors who seemed bothered, bored, or burned out quickly transformed Sam Burke into just …

What Did You Expect Him To Do? 738.3

One of the highlights of my life as a dad – and having five kids, I’ve had quite a few – occurred on a Saturday afternoon when I was taking my then 13-year-old son Justin and his friend Aaron to a movie. As we entered the theater, I noticed the ticket seller had undercharged me, so I asked the boys …

An Uncomfortable Moment of Truth 737.1

When my daughters were younger and wanted to spend time with me, I used to take each one on an out-of-town trip for alone time. An especially memorable one was with my youngest daughter Mataya when she was seven. We went to Philadelphia and Washington, D.C. and had a wonderful time touring and talking about American history, the Liberty Bell, …

There Are Two Kinds of People 736.4

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who think there are two kinds of people in the world and those who think those who think there are two kinds of people in the world are self-righteous jerks. A listener called me to task concerning a story about a man who told his son there are two kinds …

Ramadan Kareem 736.3

Ramadan Kareem. Ramadan Mubarak. Kul ‘am wa enta bi-khair! (May every year find you in good health!) Please forgive my pronunciation, but I want to respectfully offer warm wishes and greetings to my Muslim brothers and sisters during the holy month of Ramadan. To those whose entire perspective of Islam and the Qur’an is shaped by fear and hatred of …

A Dad Sending His Daughter Off to College 736.1

I want to share a slightly edited portion of a letter my friend Scott Raecker wrote to his daughter Emily on sending her off to college: My Dear Emily, My life changed the day we found out that you were on your way. From that moment forward, you have been on my mind and heart – every day. I vividly …

Shopping Carts and Rationalizations 733.5

When we think about character, we tend to envision really big things, like taking heavy risks, committing bold acts of integrity, being grandly generous, or making tough sacrifices. Such noble choices indicate character, but for the most part, our integrity is revealed in much smaller events, like apologizing when we’re wrong, giving to causes we believe in, being honest when …

Appreciating a Parent’s Love 731.4

While window-shopping in New York City, I saw an old gold watch that reminded me of one my father gave me when I graduated from college. It had been engraved with the simple inscription “Love, Dad.” But it was stolen during a burglary years ago, and I hadn’t thought much of it or the inscription since. I always knew my …

Freedom From Ideological Tyranny 730.1

The Fourth of July should be more than a birthday celebration marked by fireworks. It’s a time to appreciate and honor the great democracy our forefathers created, including a profoundly wise system of Constitutional checks and balances. Conflicting views of rights and responsibilities are unavoidable, but passionate disagreement and debate should strengthen rather than undermine our commitment to peacefully and …

This Is My Dad, Sam Burke 729.1

Ann’s father, Sam Burke, was in the last stages of cancer, and his needs had gone beyond what she could provide at home. She was distraught at the thought of placing him in a convalescent home. The check-in process confirmed her worst fears. Administrators, nurses, and doctors who seemed bothered, bored, or burned out quickly transformed Sam Burke into just …

The Legacy I Seek 728.2

It was a great Father’s Day. Each of my five children wrote me a personal note and said nice things about my dadship. They were sweet and affectionate, and I loved it. My craving for praise and affection from my children is a bit pathetic, but as a much-older-than-average father of four teenage girls and a young unmarried adult son, …

Father or Friend? 728.1

As Father’s Day approaches, I want to share an edited version of a letter sent to me years ago by a listener named Sergio Ferreira. Dear Son, When I was a teenager I wished, just as you do now, that my dad could be my best friend. However, it wasn’t until my time to be a father came up when …

Noah’s Term Paper 727.4

Noah needed an A on his term paper. A friend said that lots of kids recycled papers they didn’t write, and he offered to give him a paper his older brother had gotten an A on three years before. When Noah asked his father for advice, his dad told him he hoped he wouldn’t cheat, but he didn’t want to …

The Bodyguard of Lies 726.3

“Follow me around. I’m serious. If anybody wants to put a tail on me, go ahead.” This bold challenge by presidential candidate Gary Hart in 1987, bulwarking his denial that he was having an extramarital affair, started a new era in media ethics. Henceforth, sexual conduct and cover-up lies by politicians became fair game for the mainstream media because it …

Taking My Granddaddy’s Quarter 726.2

During a seminar for teachers, I asked participants to share experiences that shaped their values. A Southern lady shared this story: More than 50 years ago, when I was five, I was at my granddaddy’s house in a dress and white gloves. He told me I could go into the kitchen and get a cookie. Next to the cookie jar …

Our Last Worst Act 725.4

I’m going to mention a few names and I want you to think of the first thing that comes to your mind with each: Tiger Woods, Lindsay Lohan, John Edwards, Kenneth Lay, Britney Spears, Andrew Bynum, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jim Tressel. Each person behind the name won fame in sports, business, politics, or music because of some extraordinary talents and achievements, …