For most of us, there’s something both wonderful and worrisome about large family gatherings. On the good side, we often can experience real pleasure in
You’re Only Cheating Yourself 741.4
It’s in the news all the time – kids are cheating in school in new ways and at unprecedented rates. One of the reasons is the way schools and parents deal with or ignore the underlying issues of integrity and character. For instance, a popular thing adults say to discourage kids from cheating is, “You’re only cheating yourself.” Of course …
The Power of One 741.3
Reading about the 31-year-old “rogue trader” arrested in London for unauthorized transactions that cost the Swiss Bank UBS $2 billion caused me to think about the power of one person. I’m not talking about great heroes and villains who changed the course of history, but smaller acts by ordinary people. There are lots of angles to thinking about the power …
God Will Provide
Bart’s home was in a flood area. The water was a foot high when a rescue truck offered to help him evacuate. Bart refused saying, “God will provide.” When the levee broke he had to climb onto the roof. A man in a row boat came by and urged him to get aboard but again Bart refused, “God will provide.” …
Kids Like To Win; Adults Need To Win 741.1
Whether you’re a sports fan or not, you have to acknowledge the powerful cultural influence that sports have on our culture. The values of millions of participants and spectators are shaped by the values conveyed in sports, including our views of what is permissible and proper in the competitive pursuit of personal goals. Professional sports and even highly competitive intercollegiate …
Worth More Than a Million Dollars 740.5
If you had the choice of winning $1 million in the lottery or saving a stranger’s life, which would you choose? I suspect many of you think you should say, “saving a life,” but what you are really thinking is how much better your life would be if you were rich. If the test was which act improves the world …
Blessing or Curse? 740.4
A man and his companion lost their way in a forest. The companion despaired, but the man said maybe some good would come of it. They came upon a stranger who needed the man’s help. The stranger turned out to be a prince who gave the man a beautiful horse. His neighbors praised his good luck and said, “How blessed …
Are You the Father Your Child Deserves? 740.3
Listening to 9/11 survivors re-live the horrendous event that shattered their lives should remind us all to treat every day as a gift, and to treasure every opportunity to give or receive love. This is especially true for parents. A favorite story is about a 10-year-old boy who was told by his father not to expect him to go to …
Hakuna Matata 740.2
Even as we enter a second decade after the 9/11 attacks, fear remains one of the most destructive legacies of terrorism. The further we get from the fire and dust of the decimated twin towers and the damaged Pentagon, the more evident it is how many ways fear amplifies the impact of the attacks. In moderation, fear can be a …
Moving Beyond 9/11 740.1
I’ve been enlightened and uplifted by many articles and TV specials commemorating the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. It’s important and appropriate that we pause to honor with reverence and gratitude the lives lost and mangled and the noble efforts of those who struggled mightily to rescue them. We should learn the lesson that life is fragile. We’re all …
A Grateful Goodbye to KNX Radio
Dr. Seuss said, “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” So I’ve mustered my best smile to inform you I was recently given notice by KNX that they will discontinue running my radio commentaries as of October 17. Whatever business or programmatic reasons led to the decision, I want to express sincere and unequivocal gratitude to CBS and …
A Parable About Leadership 739.5
As the nasty rhetoric of the upcoming presidential campaign sends the message that leadership must be aggressive and confrontational, consider this parable about leadership. A student assigned to write an essay about an effective leader wrote this story: “I’ve been taking a bus to school for years. Most passengers keep to themselves and no one ever talks to anyone else. …
This Is My Dad, Sam Burke 739.4
Ann’s father, Sam Burke, was in the last stages of cancer, and his needs had gone beyond what she could provide at home. She was distraught at the thought of placing him in a convalescent home. The check-in process confirmed her worst fears. Administrators, nurses, and doctors who seemed bothered, bored, or burned out quickly transformed Sam Burke into just …
Good Quotes That Didn’t Make the Cut 739.3
In preparing my letter to my college-bound daughter Samara, I found and created lots of quotes that I liked, but that didn’t make the cut. Here are some of them. Don’t put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket. People don’t have to like you. You’re not a Facebook status. Cultivate the power to choose your thoughts just …
It’s Your Job to Enjoy Your Job 739.1
Labor Day is, first and foremost, a day off from work to do something you enjoy, or to catch up on domestic tasks awaiting your attention. It’s also an ideal time to think about the role that work plays in your life. For some, work is a necessary evil. It’s doing what they have to do to make a decent …
Words of Wisdom: Part Two 738.5
This is the promised Part Two of my list of words of wisdom for my daughter who just entered college. Take control of your life by taking control of your attitudes. Choose to be happy. Choose to be cheerful. Choose to be optimistic. Pursue your passions, but don’t confuse feelings with facts, fun with happiness, or pleasure with fulfillment. Listen …
It’s Not Easy 738.4
Let’s be honest. Ethics is not for wimps. It’s not easy being a good person. It’s not easy to be honest when it might be costly, to play fair when others cheat, or to keep inconvenient promises. It’s not easy to stand up for our beliefs and still respect differing viewpoints. It’s not easy to control powerful impulses, to be …
What Did You Expect Him To Do? 738.3
One of the highlights of my life as a dad – and having five kids, I’ve had quite a few – occurred on a Saturday afternoon when I was taking my then 13-year-old son Justin and his friend Aaron to a movie. As we entered the theater, I noticed the ticket seller had undercharged me, so I asked the boys …
Getting Through to Kids 738.2
A listener wrote to say she was selecting some of her favorite commentaries to put into a notebook for her 12-year-old son. She said she was going to underline portions she thought were particularly pertinent. I love it whenever someone wants to share my thoughts, especially with children, but I’ve come to realize how difficult it can be to successfully …
Our Great Adventure 738.1
This commentary was supposed to be Part Two of a list of principles I prepared for my daughter, who is going off to college. But events have made two of these principles particularly pertinent: When everything seems to be going wrong, take notes because your worst days often become your best memories. The difference between a colossal inconvenience and great …
The Power of Responsibility 737.5
It’s been said that the line between childhood and adulthood is crossed when we move from saying, “It got lost” to “I lost it.” Indeed, being accountable and understanding and accepting the role our choices play in the things that happen are crucial signs of emotional and moral maturity. That’s why responsibility is one of the main pillars of good …
Wisdom in 20 Words or Fewer: Part One 737.4
Since my children were small, I launched their day with the invocation to “be good, have fun and learn.” I hope they remember that mantra, but now that my daughter Samara is beginning her independent life as a college freshman 3,000 miles away, I think a more detailed set of maxims is needed. So, I’ve begun to assemble a collection …
Marriage Is Not a Word 737.3
Marriage is not a word; it’s a sentence. Marriage is a three ring-circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering. A man is incomplete until he’s married; then he’s finished. Marriage is finding the one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Why are there so many mean jokes about marriage? Today, my bride and best friend …
Learning Humanity in the Context of Competition 737.2
Competition often brings out the best performance but it doesn’t always bring out the best in people. Even in the arts, actors, singers, dancers, and musicians must survive and thrive in a competitive community as rude and rough as any. Ambitious parents often introduce toxic gamesmanship and back-biting attitudes very early as their children are judged and ranked by the …
An Uncomfortable Moment of Truth 737.1
When my daughters were younger and wanted to spend time with me, I used to take each one on an out-of-town trip for alone time. An especially memorable one was with my youngest daughter Mataya when she was seven. We went to Philadelphia and Washington, D.C. and had a wonderful time touring and talking about American history, the Liberty Bell, …
What I Want My Daughter to Get Out of Sports 736.5
Several years ago, when my daughter Carissa was about to enter her first gymnastics competition, I wrote her a letter expressing my hopes and goals for her athletic experience. Here’s a revised version: My dearest Carissa, I know you’ve worked hard to prepare yourself to compete, and I know how much you want to win. That’s a good goal. You …
There Are Two Kinds of People 736.4
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who think there are two kinds of people in the world and those who think those who think there are two kinds of people in the world are self-righteous jerks. A listener called me to task concerning a story about a man who told his son there are two kinds …
Ramadan Kareem 736.3
Ramadan Kareem. Ramadan Mubarak. Kul ‘am wa enta bi-khair! (May every year find you in good health!) Please forgive my pronunciation, but I want to respectfully offer warm wishes and greetings to my Muslim brothers and sisters during the holy month of Ramadan. To those whose entire perspective of Islam and the Qur’an is shaped by fear and hatred of …
Deal or No Deal? 736.2
Sarah’s mom agreed to let her 16-year-old go to a party if she promised to be home by midnight. But as the Cinderella hour approached, Sarah did a quick risk/reward calculation. She knew her mom would be angry and probably ground her, but she was having so much fun she decided it was worth it. Sure enough, when she got …
A Dad Sending His Daughter Off to College 736.1
I want to share a slightly edited portion of a letter my friend Scott Raecker wrote to his daughter Emily on sending her off to college: My Dear Emily, My life changed the day we found out that you were on your way. From that moment forward, you have been on my mind and heart – every day. I vividly …