A father’s need to be right. A son’s need to be independent. A father’s acceptance of his son as a man can be as difficult as a son’s acceptance that his father is just a man.
RELATIONSHIPS: Fight for the relationships that are important to you.
If you can talk it out, you can work it out. Fight for the relationships that are important to you. The best relationships are never easy, at least not all the time.
OBSERVATION: Our U.S. negotiators probably got the best deal they could but given the stakes in the currently proposed Iran agreement, no deal is better than a bad deal.
I don’t usually state political opinions on this blog but I have and will when i think an issue is particularly important and there seems to be an interest in my opinion. Thus, I am “coming out” on my view of the current Iran agreement proposal knowing it will anger or disappoint some of you. I hope that doesn’t destroy …
COMMENTARY .2: How Much Are You Willing to Pay for Money?
Disdain for money is a common theme among moralists and philosophers. But money’s not the problem. It’s what people do to get it and what they do with it when they get it. In Fiddler on the Roof, a poor man sings of his daydreams of the wonderful life he’d have if he were a rich man. And surely it …
The first duty of LOVE is to LISTEN
The first duty of LOVE is to LISTEN. -Paul Tillich. Listening doesn’t mean obeying, it means making a true effort to hear and understand what the other person is saying and feeling. Think how much better relationships would be if parents really listened to their children; if children – minors and adults – really listened to their parents and if …
COMMENTARY 893.3: The Garden
A listener once sent me a poem with an unknown source called “The Garden.” I liked the idea so I rewrote it. Here’s my version of a lifetime garden to nourish your life: First, plant six rows of squash: 1. Squash dishonesty in all its forms. 2. Squash prejudice. 3. Squash fear.
COMMENTARY 872.5: Clichés and Milestones
One of the things I hate most about clichés is that whenever I experience milestone experiences, I have to admit they are true. There’s nothing unique or original about my feelings except that they are mine. So, when I witnessed my daughter Samara turn 18, my mind and heart flooded with trite and corny thoughts and emotions: “Where did the …
COMMENTARY: Advice for Parents of Middle Schoolers
First, remember, with emerging demands for independence, worries about peer acceptance, pressures of school and extracurricular activities, and a continuous search for self-identity, adolescents are on a physical and emotional roller coaster.
When did you choose to be straight?
Can a single question influence the way you think about things? I found it very powerful.
COMMENTARY 860.2: Deeply Personal Reflections
As I ponder quietly observing another New Year push the past year into history, I find myself more deeply aware of the profound truths buried in all the clichés about the fleeting quality of time and the transitory nature of youth. It staggers my mind to realize I’m over 70, that none of my children are children anymore, and that, …
QUOTATION & IMAGE: Sometimes life doesn’t turn out how you had expected or hoped. That doesn’t mean you can’t or won’t be happy. If you don’t limit yourself to your first version of your life there is always a bright future ahead. If you believe that the best is yet to come you will be right. – Michael Josephson
As joyous as the Xmas season is for so many, it is an especially difficult time for many others who are suffering hardships or loss, feel lonely or disappointed, or have concluded that their dreams will never come true. If you know someone like that please try to include them in a meaningful way to show them they are valued. …
Reflections at 71: Life Expectancy, Life’s Expectancies and The Seven Biggest Truths I’ve Learned
(updated December 12, 2013) Where did the time go? I hate clichés like this, but among the things I’ve learned in my 71 years of lurching around life is that these pithy statements became clichés precisely because they are true. Often profoundly so. Looking through the rear view mirror of my life the past feels like a movie played a …
QUOTE & OBSERVATION: “To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.” – Confucius
Why is it so many of us seem to treasure our grudges? We cling to feelings of resentment and remind ourselves of the injury we suffered, playing a tape of our injury over and over our mind as if reviving the hurt will somehow cause us to feel better or punish the person who caused it. Grudges are like festering infections …
QUOTATION: Rules for the Boss #1: There are lots of things going on that you don’t know about — and lots of people who hope you won’t find out.
If you manage people, you need to remember that what you don’t know definitely can hurt you. Everyone says they have an open-door policy, but most employees believe no good comes to the bearer of bad news. Rightly or wrongly, they are likely to think there is a kill-the-messenger culture in your organization that gives them an excuse to
QUOTATION: From listening comes wisdom, and from speaking, repentance.
Applying this old proverb to your personal and workplace relationships can make a huge difference in your life. Listening doesn’t just mean silently waiting your turn to speak. It means being respectful and attentive to the words, tone and context of what another person is saying. And when it is time to speak, be aware of your own words, tone …
What Do Teens Really Value? A Josephson Institute survey of more than 20,000 high school students reveals surprising information about their values.
Teens Place a Very High Value on Ethics and Good Moral Character. Students were presented with a long list of options and were asked to indicate how important each item was to them. Here are the highlights of the percentages that rated the item as very important or essential: Being treated with respect – 99 percent. Having good moral character …
Memo From Michael: Secrets, Surveillance, Trust & Credibility – What’s a President to Do? Take this simple survey illuminating the complex issues involved in the apparent eavesdropping on heads of state of friendly countries.
Take the survey here. I have been disturbed about the shallowness of public discussions concerning the revelation that U.S. intelligence agencies have been and still are conducting extensive surveillance on the phones (and presumably other communications) of heads of state (and presumably other top government officials). I have heard well known and respected pundits and politicians base their opinions (often stated …
Greatest Quotes on Character, Reputation and Character Education
— The most comprehensive (nearly 300 quotations) yet selective collection of insightful quotations on CHARACTER, REPUTATION &
COMMENTARY: Making the Best of Family Relationships
For most of us, there’s something both wonderful and worrisome about large family gatherings. On the good side, we often can experience real pleasure in spending time with relatives with whom we have so many common memories. What’s more, being with parents, siblings, and cousins who have known us since childhood often helps us see ourselves
OBSERVATION: The only kind of lies entitled to the protection of the label “white lie” are those that will not diminish trust if and when discovered.
Why is it that the shade of a lie looks so different to the person lied to than the liar? People who lie, sometimes for personal advantage (including avoiding an unpleasant confrontation) and other times to protect the feelings of the person lied to, tend to see their falsehood in shades of white. People lied to tend to see the …
HOW TO BE A GREAT SON OR DAUGHTER
What kind of son or daughter are you? Are you as good as you could be or should be? Here’s a guide on how to get in the Hall of Fame. Father’s Day is set aside to honor dads, at least those worthy of being honored. But how often do you think about how well you did or are doing …
To Fathers – Good and Bad. Which are you? What do you wish you could do or say differently? Is it too late?
Let’s face it, even when viewed through the most generous lens, not all fathers have done or are doing the most important job of their lives well. What kind of dad have you been? if you are one of the good guys who can honestly say you have done your best, that you have truly loved, supported, encouraged and nurtured …
COMMENTARY 832.1: Perfect Father’s Day Gift
When I was young, I idolized my father, judging him for his virtues. For most of the rest of my life, I criticized him, judging him for his faults. I always loved him, but I didn’t always appreciate him. I was so aware of his imperfections (surely, no worse than my own) that I greatly undervalued his good qualities and …
QUOTE & POSTER: The Viability of Love. When you love someone intensely, you are vulnerable to intense emotions. Pride and pleasure are amplified, but so is disappointment and anger.
A test of the viability and durability of your love is when you have a disagreement or fight (and you will) how long you hold on to your anger about what you fought about and how soon the anger is replaced
QUOTE & POSTER: Toxic relationships
Toxic relationships make us unhappy today and cast a shadow on tomorrow. They corrupt our attitudes and dispositions in ways that undermine healthier relationships and prevent us from realizing how much better things can be.
Memo from Michael: Bittersweet Moments of Fatherhood
When my four daughters were genuinely little girls, every milestone was a new source of joy and pride. Now that they are young women, there’s still great pride as they reach new stages of emancipation, but joy isn’t really the right word. To be honest, it feels more like sadness invoking all the clichés ever uttered about the bittersweet moments …
Memo From Michael: The Loss of Daddyhood
I’ve written extensively about my children. I have five of them: four teenage girls and a son approaching 40 (impossible to believe). I’ve written less about them lately for several reasons: 1) they are not quite as cute; 2) they say really clever things less often; 3) they are much less interested in spending time with me. And, the biggest …
COMMENTARY: The True Meaning of Love – Love Is Not A Mirage
If we can get beyond the corny red heart clichés and commercialism surrounding Valentine’s Day, there’s real value in celebrating the idea of love.
WORTH READING: Four interesting letters with divergent opinions on homosexuality.
Letter 1 Of course every person must be loved and respected but not every behavior/lifestyle must be and it is important to separate these 2 things. The fact that homosexuals are sometimes bullied or hated is very sad and unfortunate and reflects how we as a society still struggle with the concept of loving the sinner (we are all sinners) …